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Thursday, April 25, 2024

7 Shelves

CPP: What is the most difficult concept phor people to grasp?
CP: Normally I'd say "reading comprehension" but today I'm going more basic with "counting". 
CPP: Normally you'd say "I can explain it to you, but I can't comprehend it phor you". What made you chose "counting" today?
CP: People who cannot phollow simple directions to locate items on our shelves. To wit:

Looking On Shelves Timidly: Do you have any beet root?
CP: I have some Bloody Beetroots in my Spotify. 
LOST: No. I'm looking for the powder kind. 
CP: Ok. It's on these shelves around the corner. Follow me. <walks to opposite end of counter>
LOST: <follows> 
CP: They're on the fourth shelf down, from the top. 
LOST: <sticks hand out, eyes pessimistically> I don't see it. 
CP: That's the third shelf. 
LOST: <drops hand>
CP: That's the fifth shelf. 
LOST: <points at bottom shelf, begins to count>
CP: Phrom the top. 
LOST: <places hand on top shelf, moves to second shelf and says "one">
CP: Stop. Put your hand on the top shelf. 
LOST: <looks at bottom> 
LOST: <touches top shelf>
CP: Now count with me - one, two, three, five. Why did you skip four?
LOST: <shrugs>
CP: Back up one shelf; that's the fourth shelf. 
LOST: I thought you said bottom. 
CP: Either way, I have seven shelves; the fourth shelf is the same whether you count phrom the bottom or the top. 
LOST: Oh. 
CP: Now move left. 
LOST: <moves right>
CP: Your other left. 
LOST: Got it. 
CP: How did you phind your way to my pharmacy today? 

CPP: That's downright painful to hear. 
CP: It was worse to be there. I kept thinking I was getting punk'd. Now I know why those programs are so successful; people are either really dumb or really gullible. 
CPP: Or, the worst combo, both!

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