ME: Hey, CP. What's your annoying-behaviour-of-the-human-population-of-the-day for today?
CP: Randomly shouting, or even speaking at normal volume which is somehow worse, the product(s) you are seeking at a retail establishment. Or even for people for that matter.
MICE ELF: Yeah. How many times are you standing behind the bench and you overhear someone in a rather forgettable conversation questioning where something is, only to find out they are directing it at you without warning.
CP: Right? I can't see you from here. If you're on your phone or speaking with your friend next to you, you have to get my attention if you are expecting me to respond directly to you. Especially when you don't change cadence or tone or volume; it sounds like a natural part of your conversation.
ME: It often sounds rhetorical sometimes. You didn't direct your question to me, so don't expect an answer.
CP: You know the ones who are worse?
MICE ELF: Worse than those?
ME: Who is worse than the people who think we are always paying attention to them?
CP: The people who enter a store and proceed to shout random products into the atmosphere.
ME: Like when we are typing or otherwise doing downward facing dog at our counter and you hear "DEPENDS!?" and you're not sure if it's a question "where are the Depends?, a proclamation "Look! Depends!!" or a noncommittal response to "are you busy tonight? it depends.".
MICE ELF: Lol
CP: Or they shout for anything with the same ambiguous interrobang inflection - Bathroom?! Halls?! Condoms?!
ME: Why do they shout? And they don't even break stride as they're gliding past your counter.
CP: I think I'm going to walk in to stores from now on and just start shouting everything I'm looking for too; I'll be at Lowe's with like a brand-specific Tourette's: "Nails?! Tools?! Machines?! Chains?!"
ME: I mean the least they could do is make eye contact with a few seconds.
CP: Pervert.
MICE ELF: Or get within 11 feet of the counter before drawing the attention of the entire building to them and their needs.
CP: Remember: "All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others." All animals are important, but some are more important than others" right now. . .
#Interrobang
#AnimalFarm
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