ME: I support this.
MICE ELF: I think you mean "too little knowledge".
CP: No. Simply "a little". It's the start of something. The problem is, people may discover this little bit of knowledge but not possess the ability to interpret it or use it as intended; mayhap it takes on sinister or nefarious connotations in their possession.
ME: Agreed. If they remained blissfully ignorant, they would be less likely to cause harm to themselves or others.
MICE ELF: What you're saying is these people tend to wave their limited, out-of-context knowledge like a sword simply cutting into things without any appreciation for the damage it can cause.
ME: They don't understand the power that comes with this responsibility.
MICE ELF: Why do you pester us with these mind exercises, CP?
CP: Package Inserts.
ME: And the medication pamphlets we have to distribute with every prescription.
MICE ELF: I wasn't a fan of those from the beginning. I understand the requirement, but I, MICE ELF, am not a fan.
CP: Nor am I. Our biggest fears have become reality.
CP: Thank you phor calling CP's Chancroids and Pustules, how may I help you?
Getting Independent Research Lady: I'm so glad it's you. The cardiologist wanted to start my husband on a new medication and it's expensive. I wanted to research it first and I don't want him to take it. I was online last night for hours.
CP: If you know everything, why are you calling me?
G-IRL: To tell you we aren't going to fill it and you can put it back or whatever.
CP: Ok. Did Dr. Zoffis explain why your husband should be on the medication?
G-IRL: Yes. But we don't want the side effects. It causes UTIs and low blood sugar and sinus problems. He doesn't need any more problems than he already has. Why didn't Dr. Zoffis tell him this? Why did he give him this if causes all of these side effects?
CP: It doesn't "cause these side effects" in everyone. You omitted a couple of key words in your studies; it "may cause" or it "can cause". Nowhere does it say "everyone's gonna get this!". The most common side effects for this medication occurred in 0.1% to 2.8% of the people taking it. While 34.2% of those studied experienced side effects, similar to placebo, the highest reported number of any specific adverse event was single digits.
G-IRL: But I read them and it says he will get these.
CP: Is he also going to get vaginal discharge and neutropenia? Or just the ones you hand picked for him?
G-IRL: Well he hates diarrhea and has had UTIs before so those would be bad.
CP: Ok. Just so everyone is clear - Dr. Zoffis recommended a new medication to help your husband and, despite my attempts to support this decision and to allay your concerns, you are going to ignore our advice, the advice of two healthcare experts, and use your own research to make healthcare decisions. Do I have it right?
G-IRL: Yes.
CP: GIRL, bye.
MICE ELF: You're right. A little knowledge is a bad thing.
ME: In the wrong hands. More often, it's a dangerous thing. You can give a person an education but you can't make them use it.
CP: Well, at least not all of it. They play "Pick and Choose".
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