Dumb Things People Say

CPP: What's an embarrassing guilty pleasure of yours?

CP: I enjoy reading the little gossip news posts about people having a bad day, or crazy texts from parents to their kids, or entitled asses. 

CPP: Schadenfreude mein freund? 

CP: Precisely. A little joy at the misfortune of others. But I also find the entitlement and peculiar things people say fun to observe as well. It lets me know they are not like this solely at our establishment; they behave poorly and stupidly everywhere. 

CPP: Hence you "If the real world worked the way people believe pharmacy does" series. 

CP: I really need to make that into a book. 

CPP: Yes, but how are you going to segue this into a story? 

CP: Just dumb things people say. 

CPP: Have at it. 

CP: Top O' The Mornin' To Ya. Welcome to the House of Pain. . . Pills. How may I help you?

UT: What's the hassle, man?

CP: shhhh

Do You Know Who It Called: I think I am here to pick up my husband's prescriptions. 

CP: You think that's the reason? 

DYK WIC: Well I don't know. 

CP: Are we supposed to have something for him?

DYK WIC: Well he was expecting something, but I never got the call. 

CP: I see we filled two Rx's phor him 16 days ago; they were put back as they had been filled for 13 days and on the 14th day, PharmaGods said it must be returneth. 

DYK WIC: Well I didn't get any calls or texts; you people call or text me when my stuff is ready. 

CP: I'm sure our system deliberately singled you out as the one omission it was going to make in the notifications every other day for exactly two weeks; making that a total of roughly 7 missed calls/messages. 

DYK WIC: I didn't receive them. 

CP: I shall get them ready but, just because I already know the answer and want to hear you say it, what phone number should we have on file for your husband's prescriptions?

DYK WIC: 867-5309. 

CP: And who, Jenny, has the number 867-5308?

DYK WIC: My husband. 

CP: The person under whose name the prescriptions were filled?

DYK WIC: Yes. 

CP: The person for whom the prescriptions were filled is the person receiving the calls and texts. 

DYK WIC: Ok. And? I didn't get them. 

CP: But your husband did. They are his. YOU wouldn't get a phone call since you just confirmed they are his prescriptions. 

DYK WIC: Well he didn't tell me. 

CP: And that, alas, is something with which I cannot help. But I do appreciate you not understanding how phones and profiles and HIPAA all work and phor wasting my time today.