My Job Is Not Me Doing Your Job

CP: Thank you phor calling CP's Pill-adium. How may I help you?

Nurse At Her Big Rad Office: I have a client who needs refills. 

CP: A Client? Not a patient? Is that code phor something? 

UT: wink wink, nudge nudge

NAH BRO: Um, no. Just a patient. 

CP: Then say patient when you mean patient. We are medical professionals. 

NAH BRO: Our patient has been there before and needs these refills. 

CP: I'm going to guess you are calling in new phills phor his pills, else you'd be planning on giving me Rx numbers?

NAH BRO: Correct. But he's had them before. 

CP: Or else they wouldn't be refills, huh?

NAH BRO: Sure. 

CP: Any time you're ready. 

NAH BRO: He needs Latanoprost drops, you should have the strength on file and same directions. 

CP: Ok. How many bottles?

NAH BRO: Three. 

CP: And refills?

NAH BRO: Let's go with two. 

CP: Sure. Let's. 

NAH BRO: Then we have Brimonidine, same directions. 

CP: Strength?

NAH BRO: I don't know. He didn't write it for me. But you should have it. 

CP: And so should you. Next one?

NAH BRO: Timolor? I think. I can't read it but it's the same directions. 

CP: Strength? 

NAH BRO: 0.05? Maybe?

CP: <squeezes bridge of nose> OK. Here's what's going to happen. If you choose to phone in a prescription and you are from Dr. Zoffis, and you elect to not use the e-scripts, then you need to have everything ready for me. You are calling me. You are giving me information. No, I am not going to look it up or trust that it is the same as last time. You're harshing my mellow. 

UT: You didn't just say that to her. 

CP: <shrugs> I'm ornery. 

NAH BRO: What do I need?

CP: <winces, sighs> When phoning in a prescription, you are required to provide me the name of each drug, the strength, the proper directions, the quantity you want the patient to receive, the number of refills to determine how long therapy will last. Since you work in the office and have ready access to the actual provider, this should all be readily retrievable. I am not going to do your job phor you. Just because the patient has had them before, regardless of if I even philled them, does not absolve you of doing your job properly. Now do yours so I can do mine. 

<1 hour later>

UT: NAH BRO calling back. 

CP: I'll get her after I give these shots. 

<15 minutes later>

CP: Thanks for your patience. Shall we proceed? 

NAH BRO: <provides all information with a smile that I can hear through the phone>

CP: Thank you phor choosing CP's Pill-adium. Have a wonderful day. 

#IfYouDontUseEScriptsYouStillMustObeyTheOtherRules 

#NotDoingYourJobForYou