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Thursday, January 19, 2023

Preferred Status

CP: When someone asks your opinion or phor information phrom you, how do you respond?
MICE ELF: With my preference?
ME: I have a preference?
CP: Right. Simple things. When you complete surveys they are requesting your preferences, are they not? 
ME: Yes. 
MICE ELF: Sure. Where are you going with this? 
ME: <whispering to MICE ELF> another curious patient interaction. 
CP: How, if you do not tell someone, are they supposed to know of your special requests?
MICE ELF: <whispering to ME> This sounds rhetorical. Don't answer. 
CP: Phine. Allow me to present my story. 

Pain In The Ass Patient Obviously Can't Keep Expectations Together: I'm here to pick up. 
CP: Ah. Yes. You're our transplant who transferred.  
PITAPOCKET: Yes. I recently relocated my residence. 
CP: <with gleeful optimism> Welcome aboard. I have your prescription here. 
PITAPOCKET: Thanks. That was easy. Have a nice day. <walks away>

ME: I don't get it. 
MICE ELF: Wait phor it. 

PITAPOCKET: <returns almost instantly> Um. Excuse me?
CP: <optimism phading phast> Yes?
PITAPOCKET: I wanted the blue ones. 
CP: Come again? 
PITAPOCKET: The blue ones; I wanted them. 
CP: You called us yesterday to transfer this phrom our other location. 
CP: We told you we had to order it since we were currently out of stock. 
CP: You neglected to mention you wanted blue ones during either conversation. 
PITAPOCKET: Yes. Well the other store knows I need the blue ones. I told them. 
CP: Did you tell us? The ones actually philling it this time? 
PITAPOCKET: No. But I told them. 
CP: If you get a new hair stylist, do you tell them how you like your hair cut? Or, since you've had it cut before, do you just assume they know? If you hire a person of pleasure phor the evening, do you tell them what you like? Or just assume that everyone on every corner knows your personal predilections? 
PITAPOCKET: <shrugs>
CP: You can't walk in to any random Starbucks and ask phor "your regular" as they don't know you phrom any other random patron. You still have to spell it out phor them. If you want something special, you have to ask phor it each time. If, and ONLY IF, I tell you we remember, only then can you consider yourself off the hook. But you are still responsible phor YOUR special requests. Your special requests are only special to you. Deall? Verstehe? Skilja? 

ME: It's not a secret. You have to share. 
MICE ELF: Two can keep a secret if one of them is dead. 
CP: It's. Not. A. Secret!
ME: Tell me what you want, what you really really want. 
CP: Phrom the Pierces to the Spice Girls in one paragraph? 
MICE ELF: <shrugs> 

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