Helping By Not Helping?

CP: CP's Playhouse. How may I help patronise you?

Pissed Off Offensive Person Yelling: Your other store hasn't been answering their phones all day. 

CP: Huh. 

POOPY: Do you know why?

CP: No. I don't work there. Maybe they're busy. Phone issues? The pharmacy exploded? 

POOPY: Can't you call them? 

CP: I don't know. I haven't tried. I have no reason to call them. 

POOPY: To find out why they aren't answering their phones. 

CP: And how do you propose I do that? I have the same phone number you do. You want me to call them to ask why they aren't answering their phones?

POOPY: Yes. 

CP: Sounds silly when you say it out loud. Go ahead. Say it out loud. 

POOPY: Don't you have a back line or something?

CP: The Bat Phone is broken. Even if it worked, it would still be a phone call. I can send a carrier pigeon if you like? 

POOPY: Don't you have like the internet or texting or something to reach them? 

CP: I have the same resources available to me as you do. If I could reach them, so could you. 

POOPY: I need my refill. 

CP: Have you tried visiting the store, in person? Discovering the issue for yourself? You sound like you have a lot of time on your hands to call them all day, then call other stores to have us do the same phor you. 

POOPY: You're not being helpful. 

CP: I offered to fill your refill for you. I suggested you visit the store or enter your refills via text or app and you are unsatisfied with my answers. I have helped you but you have refused to take my help. It is at this time I believe you are beyond help and I decline further assistance. I now bid you adieu. Tag! 

Uber Tech: We should call a store in another state and do this to them. 

CP: Phor Phunsies!