Asked And Answered

CP: What do we like least?

MICE ELF: Repeating ourselves, whether by answering the same question or having to redo work we've already completed. 

ME: Great trait for working retail. 

CP: Quiet. It's about more than just repeating answers that won't change. Toddlers that continue asking "why" are more tolerable than adults who believe if they keep asking, maybe I'll change my answer; as if I haven't already considered every alternative. 

MICE ELF: Sounds phair. I remember the post you wrote about how everything before the "but" in a conversation is meaningless. 

ME: Yeah. Does this mean that everything asked after the period in your statement is meaningless as well?

CP: That would be correct. Do you know what time it is?

MICE ELF: I'm not phalling phor that. The answer is no. 

CP: Correct. It would not do me any good to say "but you're wearing a watch" or "there's a clock on your computer" or "can't you check your phone?" since I asked you a yes or no question. 

ME: Simple logic. 

MICE ELF: What happened to bring this conversation about again?

CP: More stupid questions. Allow me to illustrate. 

CP: CP's Palace of Dreams and Drachms. How may I help you?

Mail Order Refill Out Now: I forgot to request my refill on time from mail order and now it's going to be late. Can you give me some to get me through?

CP: Have we ever philled this prescription phor you at this pharmacy?

MORON: I don't think so. 

CP: <Checks computer> No. No we have not. Since I do not have a valid prescription phor you, I cannot phill this medication or give you any. Call your doctor, have him send a new prescription to me and I can phill it and you can be satisfied and on your way. Period.

MORON: Can I bring you my bottle to prove I'm taking it?

CP: No. 

MORORN: Can you call mail order to transfer my final refill?

CP: You mean the one you requested late that is now in process and which they won't be able to transfer to me since they are actually using it? No. 

MORON: Can you call my doctor to request a refill?

CP: No. Since I have never filled this phor you, I cannot request a refill since the operative part of that word is re-, as in to phill again. 

MORON: Can you just put some in my old bottle? 

CP: No. And I am not doing this anymore. I have provided you with the answer to your question: No. I then, out of the goodness of my heart, provided the exact steps necessary to allow you to get what you ultimately needed - a medication fill to hold you over until your late-requested refill arrives. This satisfies my obligation to you. My answers will not change just because you do not like them. Since I know you heard me, this means it must be a comprehension issue. Therefore, I will repeat my instructions, then bid you good day: Call your doctor. Ask for them to send a refill to me. I will phill it. All will be well. Period. Good Day. <click>