Book Of Revelations

CPP: What is something you wish people would understand before calling the pharmacy?

CP: Just because your bottle is empty does not mean you are out of medication. 

CPP: Example?

Say That Again But Slower: I need a refill. 

CP: You do not. 

STABS: I do. 

CP: You do not. We refilled you Rx 17 days ago; you still have 13 days remaining. 

STABS: I just emptied my bottle into my weekly pill pack and there are no pills in the bottle. Empty.  

CP: <whispers> thanks for defining "empty" phor me. But can yo. . . 

STABS: I don't have any left. 

CP: You said you took them phrom the bottle and placed them in a weekly pill pack? 

STABS: Yes. 

CP: I'm going to need you to say that again, but slower. 

STABS: <draws it out for effect because I am apparently stupid, not him> I. took. them. from. the. bottle. and. put. them. in. a. pill. pack. 

CP: So you still have medication. 

STABS: Yes. but my bottle is empty. 

CP: But you simply relocated them; rehomed them, if you will. You are still in possession of medication to get you through the next 13 days until your refill is due, yes? 

STABS: I guess. Yes. I see what you mean. 

CP: Just because your bottle is empty, does not mean you are out of medication. 

CPP: Good one. Another, perhaps?

CP: You know me. 

CPP: What's this one titled?

CP: Stay home. 

CPP: Let's hear it. 

Yes, Every Patient: I wish I could get everything on the same day. 

CP: Boy, do I have good news phor you!

YEP: You do?

CP: Yep. You CAN!

YEP: I can?!

CP: Yep. 

YEP: How?

CP: Stay home!

YEP: What?

CP: Don't come in the second you receive a call or text or carrier pigeon. If/when you receive that communication, call in the rest of your refills, or call us and ask what was filled. We keep them filled for 10-13 days (depending on whom you ask and the phase of the moon) so they can stay here where they are safe phrom harm until you are ready to adopt them and bring them to their new permanent, forever home. 

YEP: But I'm down there anyway. 

CP: Then don't complain. Otherwise, your refill dates are calculated on your pickup dates since our system is at least smart enough to know that, if the medications are still in my Will Call Bin, you can't be taking them. Call them in. Wait. Then wait some more. Unless you get the "you have until tomorrow" phone call, then come forthwith. But outside of that, save yourself a trip. Stay Home. Just because your phone rings doesn't mean you have to answer it. Just because you saw the smoke signals and semaphores does not mean you have to run immediately to the pharmacy. Seriously, stay home. 

CPP: To quote Xavier McDaniel in the movie Singles: "Steve, don't come yet". 

CP: That's great. But that's a 30 year old movie and most people won't recognise it.

CPP: Do you have more of these Revelations?

CP: Indeed I do. 

CPP: Let's have another round. 

CP: This is just a simple FYI, a PSA, if you will. 

CPP: Ok. Let's hear it. 

CP: May I have your attention please? You do not have to bring your bottle to the pharmacy for your refill.