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Tuesday, August 4, 2020

It's So Obvious It's Confusing

UT: How difficult are the terms "drop off" and pick up" to comprehend?
CP: Generally they are self-explanatory. If you polled random people around the world 84% of them would be able to correctly identify which one meant drop off and which once meant pick up. Unless. . . UT: Unless you polled patrons of retail outlets.
CP: Well of course then. It goes without saying that the retail world operates in a Bermuda Triangle-like set of parameters. Nothing is ever as it seems.
UT: <Sees patient at pick up window with prescriptions in hand> Do you want to handle this one?
CP: Certainly.

<CP pops up from behind computer like a prairie dog>
CP: Hello. Are you dropping off today?
Misses Out On Signs Explaining Key Nuances Usually Comprehensively Known Leading Everywhere: No. I am picking up.
CP: Hence your reason for being under the sign clearly marked as "Pick Up Here".
CP: <searches computer for MOOSE KNUCKLE. . . > I have nothing ready for you.
MOOSE KNUCKLE: She said she sent it.
CP: Who is this mysterious "she" of whom you speak?
MOOSE KNUCKLE: My prescriber. I just left her office and she said she sent it.
CP: Did she say she "sent it"? or that she "sent you away with it"? as in "sent it with you"?
CP: What's that in your hand?
MOOSE KNUCKLE:I don't know.
CP: May I see it?
MOOSE KNUCKLE: <hands over papers in hand>
CP: As I suspected. This would be your prescription.
MOOSE KNUCKLE: Right. I need to pick it up.
CP: Right. After you drop it off.
MOOSE KNUCKLE: She said she sent it.
CP: She did. She sent it to me via your hand. You are the delivery person of your own prescription. You can't just walk into Five Guys Burgers, head to the pick up window, and grab the first order number you hear them shout. You need to place your order first.
MOOSE KNUCKLE: But I thought it was placed.
CP: No. Your mates wrote down the order for you to take to the counter and place it yourself. Had you used doordash, someone else would be here picking up your order, not you.
MOOSE KNUCKLE: Ok. So what do I do now?
CP: Now that I have your prescription, you may sit until I call you. Then you may return to the Pick Up window as I now know you are quite familiar with its location.
MOOSE KNUCKLE: Why did she say she sent it?
CP: As I am not her, and since you have to wait, why don't you use this time to call her and ask her? UT and I are both dying to know.
MOOSE KNUCKLE: I don't want to bother her; she's busy.
CP: Right. Yet here I am, doing my job, herding people into the correct locations at my counters because they don't understand words while answering questions that should be posed to other people. Nope, not busy here.

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