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Tuesday, August 18, 2020

How Not To Be Seen

ME: What's the greater infraction? People who drop their keys on the counter or the coughers?
MICE ELF:  Coughers. You didn't have it when you entered, and you're not DJ Kool. 
CP: Let me clear my throat!
ME: Next one - People who stand between drop off/ pick up/ or consultation windows like lost puppies looking for a good home? or people who stand next to a line and get mad because you keep skipping them? 
MICE ELF: Lost puppies, especially with the COVID/ social distancing tape on the floors. 
CP: Here's a better one. Why do patients always stand behind the one pole/support beam for our gates in the pharmacy? 
ME: Then get mad when you don't notice them. You pick up your head, thinking you heard someone but there is no visual evidence confirming your suspicions. 
MICE ELF: Like truckers; if you can't see my mirrors, I can't see you. 
CP: Exactly. If you can't see me, and cannot make eye contact with me, I cannot see you. Just because you're used to working the pole doesn't mean your affinity for them is warranted in my pharmacy. 
ME: Especially when they are going to get mad they had to wait so long. 
MICE ELF: Perhaps they're used to bigger tips. 
CP: Or they're trying to hide in plain sight. Like little kids. . . or they're practising their championship hide-and-seek skills. 
ME: Perhaps they are shy and don't want to be seen?
MICE ELF: You mean they made it all the way down here, extricated themselves from their vehicles, only to plant themselves behind the nearest pole at my pharmacy? 
CP: Maybe they think we are going to snipe them with our blow dart flu shots. 
ME: Duck season!
MICE ELF: Rabbit season!
CP: They also hide behind the window frame. 
ME: What's worse is when they try to speak to us through it. 
MICE ELF: Glass is a great medium for voice conduction. 
CP: But the pole. I still don't understand the whole pole hide-behind. 
ME: They want to complain no one waited on them. 
MICE ELF: Maybe they don't want to be known at the "key dropper'' or the "cougher".
CP: Well, they're going to forever be known as either Mrs. Nesbitt or BJ Smegma going forward.

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