CP: Masochism.
MYSELF: Come again?
ME: <titters>
CP: As in "a taste for suffering".
ME: Odd.
MYSELF: Not odd. Totally normal.
CP: Anyway. I was reading complaints people had sent me and hearing their stories about how their bosses were telling them to apologise. I remembered a few of my personal complaints where people were being assholes to my techs despite repeated warnings from ME.
ME: I like to give them a chance to realise their behaviour is not welcome.
CP: If I have to step in, it's their last chance. If they have a problem with me, then decide to complain, our relationship is over.
MYSELF: What does this have to do with suffering?
CP: As I was reading the latest complaint about a situation where following the law trumped the patient's desires, I asked MYSELF "Why do we work so hard to retain people who hate us?".
MYSELF: To which I replied "good question".
CP: People will write bad reviews, call after every visit and complain, or cause a scene. Go away. Maybe something will change. Maybe. Take some time off from here. You can always return in the phuture.
ME: It's like going to a restaurant, getting bad service, and continuing to go there, and continuing to give them severely negative Yelp reviews.
MYSELF: Better yet, it's more like being in a toxic relationship. Sometimes you just need to break up with your SO. It's not working out anymore. If one partner or the other is abusive, GTFO. I'm pretty certain your phriends aren't going to stand behind the abuser's behaviour just to watch you suffer.
CP: Precisely. Which then begs the question, If only a baby's handful of patients are unhappy, why are we focusing so much time, effort, and energy on making them less unhappy? Shouldn't we focus these resources on the people who actually like us? Wouldn't that be more impactful?
ME: As you put it to me: "If we keep bad people, we will both be miserable".
MYSELF: You're right. That makes no sense.
CP: Negativity is infectious. We don't try to make the cancer happy and comfortable so it can continue to grow in peace before ultimately destroying us. We excise it.
ME: I think next time this happens, you should respond to the complaint with a TV show sendoff.
CP: Dear patient, thank you for voicing your concerns, again, about how we don't have a drive-thru, how you get too many/few calls/texts, and how our business hours are not convenient for you despite being open 84 out of 168 hours a week. After a store conclave, we have decided to vote you off the island.
#TheTribeHasSpoken
#YouveBeenChopped
#PleasePackYourKnivesAndGo
MYSELF: That'll probably get us a complaint.
ME: #GoodDay
#IfWeKeepBadPeopleWeWillBothBeMiserable
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