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Friday, October 11, 2019

I Shall Phix It No More

CP: Thank your for calling Pill Palace. This is CP, Head Pill Pauper, how may I help you today?
Just One Lady Encouraging Nurses Everywhere: I received a message from you that there was a problem with a prescription we sent electronically?
CP: Yes. I see that you sent an e-rx with a couple mistakes. The patient takes Metoprolol Tartrate 50mg twice a day and needs a 90 days supply which is 180 tablets. You wrote for Metoprolol Succinate 50mg twice a day and only 90 tablets which is a 45 days supply.
JOLENE: Ok. I see that.
CP: Can you correct it and resend it?
JOLENE: Can you take a verbal?
CP: Can you not answer a question with a question? And I CAN take a verbal but I am not going to take it.
JOLENE: Why not?
CP: While it may be easier for you, and by easier I mean lazier, it will not fix the problem.
JOLENE: But the patient needs her medication and I can fix it in the system.
CP: True. While I was waiting for you to return my call, I had a few hours to review her profile. Guess what I discovered?
JOLENE: She's out of refills?
CP: Phunny. Each of the previous 3 e-rx's you submitted for her were written this exact way, incorrectly. I personally documented on each one that I called, with whom I spoke, and when, to correct your mistakes. Phorgive me if I have no phaith in your "I will fix it in the system" plea. One of these days she will receive the incorrect medication or dosing. Perhaps she has to switch pharmacies, or another pharmacist sees nothing wrong with your prescription and fills it as written. Either way, you know it is wrong and a verbal order will not correct your continued error-making on this prescription.
JOLENE: I see. I will send it back for the prescriber to correct. Thank you.
CP: Welcome.

Uber-Tech: Wow. That went surprisingly well.
CP: Well the next step was to tell JOLENE: I was going to tell the patient her prescriber continues to write her prescriptions incorrectly.
UT: You should do that anyway.
CP: I did. The last time. But JOLENE: doesn't know that. And I will tell the patient again. She will not be happy. E-scripts only work if you use them correctly.
UT: There should be a class on this.
CP: Yeah, but the prescribers would probably skip it; just as they skipped handwriting and all math classes offered since kindergarten.

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