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Monday, July 29, 2019

It's New To Me Too

CP: Welcome to CP's Palace of Pills. With what may I assist day?
Overreactive Inconsolable Lady Yelling: I wish to complain about these pills.
CP: Complain away. They won't mind. They don't have any feelings. And they're antidepressants.
OILY: No. I wish to complain to you.
CP: Go ahead. I'm quite used to it by now.
OILY: I have never had this manufacturer before. I'm scared.
CP: They don't look scary to me. They're a pretty, calming sort of yellow.
OILY: How do I know they will work?
CP: Try them.
OILY: But I never had them.
CP: And that's relevant, how? Exactly?
OILY: I don't know if they will work and I am afraid to take them.
CP: Phun Phact. Until you took the previous manufacturer, you had never taken it either. Whether it is brand or generic, until you've tried it, you haven't actually tried it, correct?
CP: Like kids with food, or adults with food, or food in general. You may have tried brussels sprouts steamed and hated them. You cannot say you hate brussels sprouts based on the experience of one taste. Or sushi. Certain fish. Kale. Kids may require up to 19 exposures to a food in order to know if they like it or not. As we have all said to a child at some point complaining about trying something new, how would you know if you liked ice cream if you never tasted ice cream? Seriously. Had you never tried the original version of this, you wouldn't know whether it worked or not.
OILY: Well if you say so.
CP: Trust me. I am Pill Pauper Extraordinaire. Medications are my bailiwick.
OILY: Well, I'm still not sure.
CP: Remember the old LIFE cereal commercials?
OILY: Yes.
CP: Mikey tried it. He likes it. Now it’s your turn.

CP: Then we are at an impasse. Like me getting ready to go to work each day, you must face the unknown head on.
OILY: I wish you had the green ones.
CP: I can paint them if you like. Or I can offer you another medication in a similar shade of green. Or you could just give these a go and conquer your fears. If you're still afraid, there's a medication for that you could try as well. However, that would involve something new and the cycle would repeat itself.

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