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Monday, November 5, 2018

Shingrix Battle Royale

Uber-Tech: We got Shingrix in today!
CP: Amazing!
UT: What should we do with it?
CP: Ideally we'd administer it.
UT: Right. But how shall we decide who gets it?
CP: Good question.
UT: Call off the list?
CP: The list we shredded a few months ago?
UT: First come, first-served?
CP: Nah. There's no phun in that. People have been acting like asses every time they inquire as to our current stock. We need to exploit this behaviour.
UT: Cage match?
CP: Better.
UT: Gladiator?
CP: I like it. I'm thinking Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome.
UT: Aha. Two men enter, one man leaves!
CP: Can't you just picture it? Throw them all in the Dome and drop their walkers and canes down to use as weapons. I'd be willing to bet they'd get rather creative with their attacks.
UT: Well they have acted quite poorly throughout this whole manufacturer backorder/supply shortage over the last 6 months. They seriously act as though it is life-and-death.
CP: Exactly. Let's run with this. Perhaps we can get GSK to sponsor the Dome. We can hold matches every Friday and Saturday, before the early-bird dinner specials start.
UT: We could even have winner bracket battles for the second shot in 2 to 6 months.
CP: Yes! Repeat business. We could make cult heroes out of the winners; get them a Facebook page and twitter phollowing. We could sell the pay-per-view rights or livestream it in the nursing homes.
UT: Imagine the merchandise. Otto "The Octogenarian" Walkers. Connie "The Cardiac Kid" Canes.
CP: I like it. I think we found our new revenue stream to combat the DIR and PBM fees. We could even extend this to other medications on backorder. "Join us next week when new battles take place for Lorazepam and Methocarbamol!"

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