Facebook and Twitter

and follow my blog on Twitter @pharmacynic to receive notifications on new posts.

Monday, June 11, 2018

I'm Out

Out: at an end.

1. My pen ran out of ink.
2. My car is out of gas.

While these two sentences may seem similar, they are not. Irrespectively, one is quite dire while the other is often easily remedied. Most people, when confronted with the first, an empty pen, will generally reach for a new pen. They will not attempt to refill the empty cartridge. In the second scenario, most people don't have gas cans on hand to refill their cars; they also will not reach for a new car.

Me: CP, where are you going with this?
CP: Patients. I mean, patience. I'm going to illustrate the perception people share regarding their refills.
Me: Is this another one of your "Refill Too Soon" episodes?
CP: Mayhap.
Me: Phine. Can we just call it #EverydayPeople?
CP: Very Sly. . .

Medication Taker: I wish to phone in my refill.
CP: Brilliant! We do those here. May I have the number in question, please?
MT: 8675309.
<Me: Really? That's the best you could do?>
<CP: Shut it Jenny. Not everyone will catch it.>
CP: Okay. I see we have your refill on file but it appears it's going to be too soon to refill.
MT: But I'm out.
CP: Out?
MT: Yes?
CP: Like Out Out?
MT: Yes.
CP: Well you shouldn't be.
MT: The bottle in my hand is completely empty.
CP: According to my mathletics, you should have enough for at least 3 more weeks.
MT: But I'm all out.
CP: Are you still taking 2 tablets per day?
MT: Yes.
CP: By any chance, are you a squirrel?
MT: Sorry?
CP: Did you happen to stash some nuts around the room for winter?
MT: Well I just filled my pill container for the next month, added some to my extra bottle, the bird feeder, and sprinkled some in the carpet in case I fall down and need to take my medication without standing.
CP: Ok.
MT: But this bottle is empty!
CP: Right. What you're telling me is that you're not really "out of medication" in so much as your one bottle (pen) is empty. Instead of buying another tank of gas for the old pen, reach for another pen. Only when they all run dry should you need to buy more.
MT: That's a confusing metaphor.
Me: You can say that again.
CP: Look. It's quite easy. You're not out if you still have some. Everyone has a stash of pens at home. You have a stash of drugs at home.
Me: That sounds bad.
CP: Shut it. You know what I mean.
Me: Can I throw in another random quote? It is germane to the "stash of drugs reference.
CP: Phine.
Me: "We grow copious amounts of ganja, yah? And you're carrying a wasted girl and a bag of fertilizer. You don't look like your average horti-****ing-culturist!"
CP: Thanks for that. Now just inform everyone that they cannot claim to be out of medication unless they are actually out. 
Me: But don't we want them to refill everything a few days early. 
CP: Yes. A few days is perfect, but 3 weeks is quite excessive. 

No comments:

Post a Comment