Time To Celebrate

A(nother Conversation With Myself)

ME: CP, what is one of the most phrustrating situations you face every day? 

CP: I'd say the Q&A that happens with every drop off. It's phrustrating because it's the simplest encounter we have all day, and we have it hundreds of time each day, yet it seems to be the most difficult for patients. 

ME: Okay. What scenario is so troubling? 

CP: When I ask for your personal information, I'm not trying to get to know you. 

It's not a date. 

I'm trying to make sure I have the correct profile for you. 

This means that your Name, Date of Birth, Address, Allergies, and Phone Number form a portrait of you in my computer. Additional conditions and your insurance may help complete the picture but I need the basics. 

I ask, you answer. 

The sooner you answer, the sooner I get work. 

The sooner I get to work, the sooner you get to leave. 

ME: Sounds pretty straightforward to me. How can it get complicated? 

CP: People point to their DOB on the prescription and say "It's on there." 

ME: So? 

CP: The DOB can often be wrong. Or the patient name can be wrong or a mismatch. I had a grandfather who took his grandson to the office visit. The pediatrician put grandpa's DOB on the Rx. I had an office select the correct DOB, but the wrong patient. Oops. I don't care about the information for a second longer than I need it to do my job but shouldn't you care about your health for more than one second? 

ME: Point made. Okay, I know you started this post with the intent to go another direction but you felt an intro was necessary, so what was the original intent of this post? 

CP: Odd answers to my questions. 

ME: Okay. Give me one example that stands out in your memory. 

CP: Sure. 

CP: Welcome to CP's Renaissance Faire where verbal jousting is always a main event. How may I spar with you today? 

JW: I have come to fill a prescription today. 

CP: Jolly good! Have you filled prescriptions with us before? 

JW: Never. This is my first time. 

CP: Mine too. I just need some information from you to create a profile in my system. Name? 

JW: JW. 

CP: Address? 

JW: No. A suit. 

CP: Witty. Date of Birth? 

JW: We don't celebrate birthdays. 

CP: Pardon? 

JW: Jehovah's Witnesses do not celebrate birthdays. 

CP: Nor any holidays for that matter. That's fine. I'm not planning on sending you a card or hosting a surprise party. I just need the date. 

JW: We don't celebrate them. 

CP: But you were born, correct? 

JW: Yes. 

CP: Fine. While you may not attribute any significance to any particular day of the year, I need you to choose one for me to enter into the system. 

JW: I don't know what to pick.
CP: Like cheap American beer, everyone has a Born On date. Any idea when yours may have been?
JW: Nope.
CP: Any favourite numbers?
JW: I like seven.
CP: How about 7/7/1977? Easy to remember?
JW: Sounds good.
CP: Just remember it when you get to the register. And I promise not to commemorate our first date with a card or anything cheesy in a year...or on your "birthday".