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Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Check the Ether...

I am often amazed, not only where I work but in the rest of real life, by the perceptions people have as to how the world works.
Yesterday's rather mundane offering brings us this (mostly true) story:

CP: Thank you for calling Chronicles' Pharmacy (CP). How may I help you?
White Witch: I was calling to see if my prescription was ready?
CP: That's a statement disguised as a question. Are you Canadian?
WW: No. My name is White Witch.
CP: Sounds like you were picked on as a kid. Have we filled for you before?
WW: Yes. I come there all the time.
CP: It appears we have not filled for you since 2012. Are you sure it was sent here?
WW: Yes. I get all my medications there.
CP: You must be pretty healthy to have not needed anything since that one antibiotic in 2012. I have nothing for you today.
WW: Did you check the voicemail?
CP: <audible sigh> Yes, m'lady. I checked the e-script queue, the faxes, the phone-ins, the voicemail, my text alerts, my personal email, the Pony Express satchel, the telegraph machine, and my partner went out back looking for smoke signals. There is no prescription anywhere in our store for you. We have received nothing. We have filled nothing. Nothing since 2012. Does this answer your statement-question?
WW: Did you check the drawer? (Seriously. She asked this without missing a beat.)
CP: To what drawer are you referring? Our will call bin that doubles as a secret portal to Narnia? Do you expect we are able to open this drawer, peek inside, and suddenly we will have magic insight into all pharmacies' inventories and prescription files? Truly if this existed, it would not be located in a drawer. I am almost certain there'd be an app for that.
WW: So you don't have anything, then?
CP: I could check the freezer.
WW: Would you?
CP: No.

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