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Monday, August 25, 2014

Closed Door Policy

I wrote a post I titled "Close the Pharmacy". It was pretty awesome.
Perhaps my boss read it but I think may have misinterpreted it.
We were paid a visit by Loyal Leader and something was noticed: Our door was ajar.
Since we are constantly forced (um, encouraged) to show people where items are on the shelves, we are constantly leaving the pharmacy. This results in someone being taken away from his or her duties to help the patient AND another to help the wandering soul upon his/her return to the pharmacy. We may occasionally leave the door slightly, (read "wide the fu@k") open.
So Loyal Leader got a twisted kilt about this.
And I laughed.
Seriously. I laughed while having this discussion about keeping the door closed:

LL: Do you always keep your door open?
CP: <Shaking head side to side> No.
LL: (after the third time witnessing the door being kept open) Really?
CP: Not all the time.
LL: It's a safety issue to have it open.
CP: <laughs> Oh. You're serious?
LL: Yes. <shuts door...again>
CP: Okay. We will keep it closed while you are here if it makes you feel safer.
LL: That's not what I meant!
CP: It isn't?
LL: No. The Prevention of Loss Organization says it must remain closed and locked during all business hours.
CP: <whispering> But how are we supposed to go in and out?
LL: You open it.
CP: Kind of throws a wrench in your PLO order of "closed and locked", huh?
LL: You know what I mean.
CP: I am certain I do not. Perhaps you should read the CP's post "Close the Pharmacy".
LL: Why?
CP: It is quite insightful. Shall I point out the obvious flaw in your PLO's logic?
LL: Please.
CP: Our door is 36 inches wide. Very solid. Good craftsmanship. Sturdy. Definitely will keep robbers and random passersby from taking a self-guided tour of the facilities.
LL: That's the idea.
CP: I have a big but...
LL: What?
CP: BUT! As in capital letters. BUT! The PLO does not concern itself with the greater safety issue present in my pharmacy.
LL: What's that?
CP: The 20 linear FEET of open counter space that is a mere 36 inches in height but runs the entire length of my pharmacy. When I was robbed, the guy did not knock on my door like a rumrunner trying to gain access to my speakeasy....nay nay. He. Jumped. The. Counter! Why does the PLO think a 36 inch wide metal door will protect the $500,000 in inventory back here and all our lives when any person can jump or slide over any part of my counter? Locking the door during normal business hours with wide the fu@k open counters is like locking the doors to a convertible and leaving the top down...with the keys in it.

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