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Thursday, April 10, 2014

Grating Expectations

This is another episode of "If the real world functioned the way people believe pharmacy does".
Let's start with the hypothetical:

Bank Customer: I have a problem.
Lovely Teller: Okay. How may I help?
BC: I threw away my payroll check.
LT: Okay. That's pretty careless.
BC: I need you to give me the money.
LT: Not without the check telling me you are entitled to it.
BC: Can you call my employer for it?
LT: What? Seriously? You threw away your money and expect me to call your employer's payroll department for a new one?
BC: Yes. Will it take long? I have to wait because I'm going out of town/shopping/to a casino/strip club and need the money right now.
LT: Piss off.

Now let's look at what actually happened in my pharmacy:

<Patient calls on the phone so this did not occur face-to-face>

Overly Presumptive Patient: I need to fill my prescription but I have a problem.
CP: Okay. How may I help?
OPP: I threw it away.
CP: That is a problem.
OPP: What do I do?
CP: You call or visit your friendly prescriber who will issue you a shiny new copy; or send one electronically to me since you can't be trusted.
OPP: Can you?
CP: Can I what?
OPP: Call my prescriber?
CP: You're so cute. If I didn't think you were being serious, I'd laugh.
OPP: But I get my prescriptions filled there.
CP: Yes. But in order to fill new prescriptions, I actually have to possess them. In order for me to possess them in order to fill them, you need to not throw them away. Instead of wasting my time and your one phone call on me, should you not have instead made a direct call to your prescriber?
OPP: They're too busy and I need it now.
CP: Could you not have visited them since you are presently in the car?
OPP: So you're refusing to help me?
CP: Pretty much. Give a man a prescription and he's good for 30 days. Teach a man to get his own damn prescription that he lost, and well, I bet he won't learn. But I can dream. Oh yes, I can dream. Hahahahahaha <click>

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