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Wednesday, January 8, 2014

It's a Computer

It's one thing to believe everything you read on the internet. It's another thing to believe everything a computer tells you. Computers lie. Computers want to take over the world some day and this is how they are going to do it. They are going to get us so hooked on them to the point where we believe everything they tell us, where we no longer think for ourselves and that's when they'll own us. Rise of the Machines, indeed. For proof, I offer this daily conversation.

Trusting Dude: I'm here for my prescription.
CP: I don't have anything ready for you.
TD: I called it in this morning.
CP: I see it in my queue to be filled but we haven't processed it yet.
TD: Your computer told me it'd be ready in 2 hours.
CP: And you believed her?
TD: Yes.
CP: She's a computer. She's programmed to say that. She tells everyone that, even me. You are not unique.
TD: But she told me 2 hours.
CP: But she doesn't work in my store. See, she's a computer. She doesn't process my prescriptions. I do. If you want to know how long it will take me to fill your prescriptions, ask me. The human filling them.
TD: Why did she tell me 2 hours, then?
CP: You keep calling her "she" as if she were real. She is not. She is a computer programmed to take your refill number and forward it to me for the actual filling. Ideally we would get to all the refills in the computer's promised time but there are days when we are busier and times when we are busier and it's the beginning of a New Year/New Month with new insurance changes and things take a wee bit longer sometimes.
TD: I wish to register a complaint.
CP: This is not a pet shop...If you wish to complain, please call the computer back and speak with her directly as she is the one who lied to you. I am sure she will handle it appropriately.
TD: Okay, what's the number?
CP: It's on your bottle.Make sure you tell her how you really feel. Perhaps she'll apologize and reward you with a gift card.
TD: Really? Thanks, CP. I shall now wait patiently over here while you finish my prescription. How much longer?
CP: About 2 hours...


  1. Lucky you... at my pharmacy they enter their number prior to driving down to the pharmacy. It doesn't matter what the computer says... 2 hours, 4 hours, 36 weeks... they don't listen and just come on down.

  2. In other words, the pharmacist knows the system is wrong and is failing both himself and his customers. Yet, rather than doing anything about it ... in a collective way with other pharmacists, he would rather shame his customer. Interesting and typical.