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Friday, October 18, 2013

Do you have any questions?

Uber-Tech: Do you have any questions for the pharmacist today regarding your prescriptions?
Every Single Customer: I've been taking it forever.
UT: Wonderful. It hasn't been around that long, though you do look pretty old. Let's try this again: Any questions regarding your prescriptions?
ESC: I just said I have been taking this all my life.
UT: That is not an answer to the question that was asked. This would have involved something along the lines of "yes" or "no" since that was the type of question presented to you.
ESC: I've been on this forever! How many times can I say that?
UT: I don't know. My guess is that no matter how many times I ask you my question, you're going to try to beat your old record.
ESC: You're starting to annoy me.
UT: Good. Maybe logic will sink in sooner rather than later. While we wait, let's try to explain why your answer is insanely short-sighted...Your argument is this: Since you have been taking the same medication for an eternity, there is absolutely nothing you can learn about it. There is nothing that could change about it. There are no reactions you could develop and there are no changes that could occur. There are no interactions with any medications you are adding and there are no new side effects you could ever possibly have.
ESC: Essentially.
UT: Good. Then you are an expert and could probably teach my colleagues a few things. Even though body chemistry changes and medications react differently in people as they age and even though allergies can develop years after starting a medication, you factually know you shall never experience this. Is that correct?
ESC: I've been taking it forever with no issues, so it must be true.
UT: Jolly Good, sir! You have stuck to your guns and continued saying that. Then may I ask you to kindly sign this waiver?
ESC: What is it?
UT: A simple form absolving all pharmacy staff here of any liability should you ever have a question or experience you need to share with us about your medications. It waives our legally mandated offer to counsel you. It allows us to never annoy you with the pesky "Do you have any questions..." spiel we always pester pester pester you with every time you visit our boutique. Basically, we shall never again ask intrusive questions about your "medication you've been on all your life". Satisfied?
ESC: But what if something happens?
UT: You have assured me it shall not. Good day, sir!
ESC: But.
UT: I said Good Day!

ESC's Wife: Next time just say "No". You always fall for this and you always lose. Well-played UT. Well played.

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