EVERYwhere, Did You Say?

CPP: What are today's musings, CP?

CP: Adults "look" for things the same way kids "look" for things: <child/teen opens fridge door, looks at the first 3 inches of space, doesn't see what they seek, closes door and complains "we're out of xxx...">

CPP: Very true. And?

CP: People don't read. Most CAN, but it's a choice to NOT. 

CPP: I take it these two facts are somehow related? 

CP: Indeed they are. 

CP: Thank you phor calling CP's Drachm-a-Rama, how may I help you?

Verily I Looked Everywhere, Like I'm Exhausted: I can't find my Losartan. 

CP: I'm not sure how calling me can help you phind it. I work at the pharmacy, I don't do search-and-rescue. 

VILE LIE: I just finished filling my pill box for the week and I have no more Losartan. 

CP: That's strange. We just filled this phor you 9 days ago; the same day you signed phor it. It left the pharmacy in your hands so again, I am not sure how I may provide assistance; or why I am necessary for this conversation. 

VILE LIE:"I looked everywhere for them!"

CP: Did you, though? In your car? Under the bar? In the loo? Near your kazoo? On the shelf? Near the Christmas elf? Did you check your purse? Or near pages of verse? 

VILE LIE: I need my medication and I looked everywhere. Can I get more?

CP: You may always purchase more, provided there are refills remaining, but your insurance will not pay again so soon. 

VILE LIE: Why not? 

CP: They just paid for a 90 days supply 9 days ago. They're not inclined to pay phor your mistake. Seek, and ye shall phind. 

VILE LIE: I'll check again but you need to get me a refill. 

CP: Ok. I'm going to get back to work now and you can keep looking. Until you've exhausted all possibilities, you need not contact me again. I give it 2 hours before you call to tell me you found them. 

<3 hours later>

VILE LIE: I found them. 

CP: No shit. Amazing what happens when you ACTUALLY look EVERYWHERE. Of course you piqued my curiosity and I need to know the answer to the Mystery of the Missing Medication. 

VILE LIE: The reason I didn't find them is they're now green; they were white before. 

CP: Wait. Instead of looking at the label on the bottle that clearly reads: "LOSARTAN", you opened the bottle, looked at the tablets and said "Hmm, green, nope." then proceeded to call me, waste my time, then spend 3 more hours looking phor them?

VILE LIE: Well, it sounds bad when you put it like that. But no one told me they changed from white to green. 

CP: Is there a green sticker on the bottle? 

VILE LIE: Yes. 

CP: Does it read:" THIS IS THE SAME MEDICATION YOU HAVE BEEN GETTING COLOR, SIZE OR SHAPE MAY APPEAR DIFFERENT "?

VILE LIE: Yes. 

CP: Let me guess, you didn't read that either?

VILE LIE: No. 

CP: And this is why signs don't work. 

CPP: As you always say, "I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it phor you". 

CP: I can give you a sign, but I can't make you read it. . . or comprehend it.