It Seems So Obvious, But. . .

ME: Hey CP, what's our topic today?

CP: Same topic we have every night, Pinky. Stupidity. 

MICE ELF: Egad Brain! Sounds incredible.

ME: Okay. But what specifically? What differentiates today's stupid? What sets is apart?

CP: Drug ads on TV and how, if you ask "how stupid can people be" long enough, eventually someone will fall forward and declare himself your champion. 

MICE ELF: What about the drug ads troubles you?

CP: Besides the fact they exist? I specifically phind phault with the legally required line "do not take this medication if you are allergic to this medication". 

ME: Sounds okay to me. 

MICE ELF: Yeah. Makes sense. 

CP: Except it's a brand new medication; being advertised as a new drug. How can you know if you're allergic if you've never taken it before?

ME: That'd be like saying you're allergic to foods or detergents or people and having never been introduced to them. 

MICE ELF: Exactly. You can't know you're allergic to bees until after you get stung. 

CP: It's just really stupid to watch these commercials in the first place then to be subjected to "don't take if allergic to it" makes it more insulting. It makes me wonder who out there is really thinking "I want to take this. I'm not sure if I'm allergic. How do I know? I know! I'll call my pharmacist and ask her if I'm allergic. She should have all my allergies on file. I bet this new drug that is like nothing else will be on my list and if it's not, I can yell at her for not knowing. I haven't yelled at anyone at the pharmacy today. I've just been watching Olympics all day while she is slapping labels on stuff. She'll be happy to hear from me 5 minutes before close."

ME: Yo. Bring it back. 

MICE ELF: How does this connect to a real world situation?

ME: Yeah. You were saying?

CP: Right. Besides that, I had this conversation last week.

CP: Make sure you do not take this medication with any Ibuprofen.

I Doubt It's Obviously That: Oh. I can't take Ibuprofen anyway.

CP: Why not?

IDIOT: I'm allergic.

CP: Oh? What happens?

IDIOT: I don't know. 

CP: What? Why?

IDIOT: I never took them.

CP: Then how are you allergic?

IDIOT: I don't know. 

ME: And now he's going to be allergic to all the drugs on TV. 

MICE ELF: Probably not all of them. He'll just randomly select a few.

CP: But he'll give one list to his prescribers and a different list to us.