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Thursday, September 24, 2020

Your Irritation Is Misplaced

CP: Welcome to CP's Phunhouse. How may I help you?
Pissed Off Old Person Yelling He's Expecting A Deal: I need my medication. 
CP: Okay. I have it here. 
POOPYHEAD: And I'm irritated with you. 
CP: Let's go back to the intro. . . Welcome to Thunderdome!
POOPYHEAD: <confused look>
CP: Okay. Now I'm ready. 
POOPYHEAD: You need to stop sending texts to my wife. 
CP: I do not text your wife; nor would I. 
POOPYHEAD: What? No. From here. It's none of her business about my prescriptions. In fact it's no one's business but mine. 
CP: Sure thing. Did you sign up for the courtesy refill program? 
POOPYHEAD: I don't want any texts from you. 
CP: Not the question I asked, but let's roll with it. Let me check your profile. 
POOPYHEAD: Stop calling me. 
CP: In the balladic words of Guns N' Roses. . . All we need is just a little patience. Now hush while I do my thing. 
POOPYHEAD: <mumbles>
CP: What phone number should I have on file for you? 
POOPYHEAD: <recites wife's phone number>
CP: Ok. That IS the number we have for you. Should I have another number listed?
POOPYHEAD: NO! That's my main number.
CP: Just to be clear. You want no communications to go from us to your wife? 
CP: Yet you want us to keep her phone number on file as your primary contact phone? 
CP: And if I remove you from all automatic texts, alerts, notifications, and calls, I still have to have a number on file to contact in case of any issues filling your prescriptions. 
POOPYHEAD: Whatever. Just don't call my wife. 
CP: The wife whose number you still want listed as primary phone number?
CP: Is there, maybe, another number you'd like listed? Like, I don't know, your own personal cell#?
POOPYHEAD: There is. 
CP: Should I enter that instead? I'm just throwing it out there that you want no notifications sent to your wife, but you insist hers be the only number on your file. I am not sure how to comply with that. It's like you wanting a vegan menu, but all dishes must include bacon. 
POOPYHEAD: Phine. Enter mine. But don't text me. It no one's business but mine. 
CP: I'm afraid to ask who answers your phone calls.


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