Your Irritation Is Misplaced

CP: Welcome to CP's Phunhouse. How may I help you?

Pissed Off Old Person Yelling He's Expecting A Deal: I need my medication. 

CP: Okay. I have it here. 

POOPYHEAD: And I'm irritated with you. 

CP: Let's go back to the intro. . . Welcome to Thunderdome!

POOPYHEAD: <confused look>

CP: Okay. Now I'm ready. 

POOPYHEAD: You need to stop sending texts to my wife. 

CP: I do not text your wife; nor would I. 

POOPYHEAD: What? No. From here. It's none of her business about my prescriptions. In fact it's no one's business but mine. 

CP: Sure thing. Did you sign up for the courtesy refill program? 

POOPYHEAD: I don't want any texts from you. 

CP: Not the question I asked, but let's roll with it. Let me check your profile. 

POOPYHEAD: Stop calling me. 

CP: In the balladic words of Guns N' Roses. . . All we need is just a little patience. Now hush while I do my thing. 

POOPYHEAD: <mumbles>

CP: What phone number should I have on file for you? 

POOPYHEAD: <recites wife's phone number>

CP: Ok. That IS the number we have for you. Should I have another number listed?

POOPYHEAD: NO! That's my main number.

CP: Just to be clear. You want no communications to go from us to your wife? 

POOPYHEAD: I SAID THAT!

CP: Yet you want us to keep her phone number on file as your primary contact phone? 

POOPYHEAD: YES! 

CP: And if I remove you from all automatic texts, alerts, notifications, and calls, I still have to have a number on file to contact in case of any issues filling your prescriptions. 

POOPYHEAD: Whatever. Just don't call my wife. 

CP: The wife whose number you still want listed as primary phone number?

POOPYHEAD: Yes. 

CP: Is there, maybe, another number you'd like listed? Like, I don't know, your own personal cell#?

POOPYHEAD: There is. 

CP: Should I enter that instead? I'm just throwing it out there that you want no notifications sent to your wife, but you insist hers be the only number on your file. I am not sure how to comply with that. It's like you wanting a vegan menu, but all dishes must include bacon. 

POOPYHEAD: Phine. Enter mine. But don't text me. It no one's business but mine. 

CP: I'm afraid to ask who answers your phone calls.

#MisdirectedAnger

#SoAngryHeConfusedHimself

#HowDidIGetIntoThisConversation

#WhyYourPharmacistHatesYou

#WhyYourPrescriptionTakesSoLong