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Monday, September 7, 2020

It's Your Dime. . . But My Time

CP: Thanks phor calling. . . 
Caller Having One Aneurysm Cursing Here: Finally! Someone answered. 
CP: I did. That's what happens when the phone rings. 
CHOACH: I've been trying to get through for hours. 
CP: And your persistence paid off. 
CHOACH: That's no way to run a business if people can't get through. 
CP: Well we do have many ways to reach us. . . 
CHOACH: You need more people down there to work. 
CP: Thanks. I'll alert my boss. She won't care, but I'll dare to share, mon frere. 
CHOACH: How do you stay in business? 
CP: Was your initial desire when dialing me to ask about how I run my pharmacy? If it was, I think I answered your probing questions. If not, why DID you call me? Would you like to argue with me, and continue complaining about how backed up we are right now, or would you like me to get your prescription ready? I'm just trying to plan my day and you can only pick one option. Should I grab a chair and some Cheetos? 
CHOACH: This is why nobody likes you.
CP: Wrong! This is precisely why people like me. This is also #WhyYourPrescriptionTakesSoLong and I can't ever answer my phone; instead of simply stating your business, you felt the need to spend your dime chastising me. Now I need to call my support line and ask for grief counseling to recover from this incident so your prescriptions won't be ready for 3 more days. 
CHOACH: That's ridiculous!
CP: It may be. It may not. Would you like to put another dime in to discover for yourself? Or I can hang up and you can try your luck again. 
CHOACH: It better be ready when I get down there. 
CP: Or what? You'll call back to volley vituperative invective at me? A threat, then? Well, "the only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous". 
CHOACH: <click>
UT: Well you did warn him he couldn't have it both ways. You can't complain about the wait time when you are keeping me from my work. 
CP: Verily.

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