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Sunday, September 20, 2020

Oh No You Didn't

CP: What is the first rule of retail pharmacy? 
ME: The customer is. . . 
CP: I will rip out your spine and floss with it if you say "always right". 
MICE ELF: Sometimes, the customer is an asshole. 
CP: Thank you to MICE ELF. That is, of course, the second rule.The first rule is you do not get to yell at my techs; you do not get to mistreat them; basically, you can treat them no worse than I do. 
ME: <smacks forehead> Of course!
MICE ELF: Why the rephresher, CP? 
CP: A recent interaction reminded me it's time to extend plaudits to the hardest working members of any pharmacy team, our technicians. 
ME: How sweet!
MICE ELF: Okay. Who pissed you off?
CP: This guy, but there's a plot twist, lol.

Grumpy Foreskin: I'm leaving. 
UT: It's done. I am literally labeling it right now. 
GF: It was supposed to be done an hour ago. 
UT: We have been exceptionally busy with the holiday but it is done. The pharmacist just has to check it. 
CP: <waiting in the wings, listening for my cue>
GF: <makes eye contact with CP (big mistake)> You need to hire faster people. 
CP: That was the wrong thing to say. 
GF: Why? Your service sucks. 
CP: Correction. Our service is exemplary. Even with you complaining, my techs are still smiling and doing their jobs. What I lack is the volume of techs required to meet your speedy request. You can have it right or right now, but not both. I will choose "right" every time. My techs are among the best I have ever worked beside. I lack quantity but not quality. You may call my boss and tell him I need more people but you cannot complain they are slow. 
GF: Maybe I need to find another pharmacy. 
CP: I think that would be wise. Since we cannot meet your needs in a timely manner and you believe it is okay to denigrate my staff and suggest I need better people for you then you can take your business to any competitor you choose. 
Lady On Line: Yeah! Way to go CP! I work retail too and in customer service and this Rumpled Foreskin has no right to be such a flaccid schlong to you or your staff. These people are doing a great job and are working extremely hard in difficult situations with grumpy people yelling at them all day. 
GF: <glares menacingly>
CP: Love you too!
GF: <notices crowd staring, slowly skulks backwards, nears main aisle, disappears>
UT: Order ready for Foreskin. Grumpy Foreskin? 
LOL: He shriveled up and left. 
CP: Premature evacuation of the premises. Thank you. 
LOL: You rock. That was the best thing to watch, ever.

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