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Friday, February 21, 2020

Not My Services

UT: Why did I just get yelled at?
CP: Because you're a horrible human being?
UT: Phunny.
CP: Because we can't meet the lofty expectations of the public in today's "everything's accessible at all times" society?
UT: Sounds better.
CP: Which complaint was it this time?
UT: I was remonstrated because we do not offer a drive-thru.
CP: Ah, the joys of working with the public. You cannot get mad at me for not offering services we do not provide. I don't have a drive-thru. I am not going to knock a hole in the middle of this plaza just for you to idle away, polluting the environment.
UT: Either they pollute it with gas and emissions or they befoul the air with their complaints.
CP: Like the person who came to the drive-thru at another store and asked them to shop for her. When the tech told her it's in the front end and we don't shop, the lady pointed to the aisle and said "I know it's right there in front of the pharmacy".
UT: To which they replied?
CP: Since you know where it is, you can come in and easily find it yourself.
UT: Seriously great. One of your proteges?
CP: It was. We are not offering curbside pickup.
UT: Maybe we should post a list of services we do NOT provide. That way people can search online or read the poster while they wait.
CP: We do NOT offer:
-a drive-thru
-curbside pickup
-valet shopping
-prophylactic phittings
-24 hour service
-metformin tablet flavouring
UT: As you have said before, where you choose to do business is entirely up to you. If you don't like the services they offer or they are missing ones you need, don't shop there. If their hours aren't convenient for your needs, again, go elsewhere.
CP: I had patients switch to a local independent years ago. They were only open until 5pm weekdays, 10-2 Saturdays, and closed Sundays. Guess how many phone calls I received during their closed hours from patients asking me to help them? "I just need a few until my pharmacy opens." blah blah blah. You chose to do business with them now you have to operate your life within their operating parameters.
UT: I eat at local, cash-only restaurants. I'm not going to expect them to take credit cards or checks. They have an ATM. It's their rules. If you are an Apple Pay-exclusive patron, eat elsewhere.
CP: Right. You have options. "Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world (you) walked into mine." Next time, walk past my door.
UT: At least we excel at the services we do offer.
CP: They come to see the two of us which, in the healthcare world, is far more important than a drive-thru.


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