ME: Hey, CP! Long time.
CP: If you're here, there must needs be a topic for discussion.
MICE ELF: What's got your smock in a snarl lately?
CP: Understanding. Or a lack thereof. Or rather, a lack of desire to understand.
ME: I'm guessing this has to do with people?
CP: Of course. I'm big on dialogue; having an open discussion with a back-and-forth where we learn from those who are more knowledgeable about a topic than we may be.
MICE ELF: It is helpful to keep your mouth closed so your ears and brain may work together to process the new information.
CP: It is. However, I find that people would much rather talk loudly, and over others, than engage in this type of learned dialogue.
ME: As when we are trying to explain, well, anything really, to our patients and providers.
MICE ELF: Yes. If theirs is the loudest voice heard, it must be right.
ME: Sounds like a defense mechanism used by those who refuse to confront their long-held, diaphanously-constructed belief system for fear they will watch it dissolve like candy floss in the rain.
CP: It's true. The question I have is this: Do you want to keep complaining? Or do you want to take a second, learn what happened, understand it, improve your life with the knowledge I will impart, and be a better person for it?
ME: As I said, it's too difficult to face you could be wrong.
CP: Yet people will argue with and interrupt me when I try to explain any of the following - you have a deductible, your insurance changed their formulary, the prior authorisation process, why I need the patient's information for a new profile, why we are not CVS or Walgreens and have to call them for transfers, or any of the multitude of reasons patients phrustrate the hell out of us daily.
Ask a question.
Allow me to answer it.
If you are unclear on the details, ask a follow up question.
Nod your head in assent or shake it to signal lack of comprehension.
However, under no circumstances should you interrupt me. I am attempting to help you. Take the wisdom I share and use it. Call your insurance or prescriber. Verify what I have told you.
MICE ELF: And. . . ?
CP: And next time I won't have to have this discussion with you, again, for the eleventeeth time.
ME: You're suggesting people should actually listen to what you tell them and then grow as a person instead of remaining ignorant and condescending and threatening?
MICE ELF: Better to remain silent and look like a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
CP: Just shut up and listen. I'm offering answers, not excuses. I am telling you the likeliest reason for your current situation and how it can be remedied. I can explain it to you, but I can't comprehend it for you. If you're still talking, you're neither listening nor comprehending.
ME: Your biggest pet peeve is having to explain something more than once.
MICE ELF: That and having to redo work we've already done.
ME: And being interrupted while talking.
CP: All of which result from patients not listening but arguing with what I am saying. It does not behoove me to lie. I miss the good old days when patients trusted us and what we had to tell them. I don't know anything about particle physics and if I ever find myself in a discussion with a particle physicist, I find it unlikely I will interrupt her.
ME: You read all the signs at the museums and zoos, don't you?
CP: How else to learn? It's also quiet learning where just the 3 of us can talk.
MICE ELF: No wonder you know so much random minutiae.
"Yes we're being condescending
Yes, that means we're talking down to you
With all that racket from your lips a-flapping
We assumed you didn't notice"