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Friday, November 22, 2019

Order Up

Uber-Tech: I'm phrustrated, CP
CP: As am I. Why don't anal, banal, and canal rhyme?
UT: I loathe you.
CP: Sorry. Continue.
UT: Why are patients not prepared when they come to the pharmacy? Especially the drive-thru?
CP: Is this rhetorical? Or a metaphor for life?
UT: A metaphor. I need to learn your language to communicate with you.
CP: Proceed.
UT: A patient orders a refill and we confirm a refill is ready when they arrive.
CP: Okay.
UT: They then have the nerve to ask "where are my other 3 medications?" or complain that we filled the wrong one.
CP: True. This happens with pretty much every interaction. What's your analogy?
UT: This would be like going to Chik-Fil-A and ordering a Spicy Chicken sandwich and a lemonade. When the perky cashier repeats your order immediately back to you ("that's one spicy chicken sandwich and a lemonade") you confirm it and await its delivery. THEN, when the order is set in front of you, mere seconds after being placed, you proceed to argue and complain about its inaccuracy.
"Where are my nuggets? And the waffle fries? And my chicken strips? Every time I come here you can't get it right!"
I just don't understand how patients become such vacuous oafs when they arrive at the pharmacy.
CP: I see the rest of the conversation happening as -
   Impatient Mad Patron: "Why didn't you give me waffle fries?! It's not a meal unless you include the      waffle fries!"
   UT: You didn't order waffle fries, or a meal.
   IMP: I never have this problem at Wendy's!
   UT: Well this isn't Wendy's and they don't serve waffle fries, so there's that. If you could just park in the little "drive-thru parking" spot to your left, I'll get those waffle fries right out to you.
   IMP: Now I have to wait? Nope. I'm sitting right here.
   UT: Well either way, you're going to wait. It's either here, blocking my drive-thru, or up ahead where I will bring them out to you.
UT: Yeah. Except that doesn't happen at Chik-Fil-A. Or anywhere else for that matter.
CP: Manners and decorousness seem to evaporate as soon as patients near a pharmacy. I like your new term for them, Vacuous Pharmacy Oafs.
UT: Thanks. I think we're going to have to start referring to them that way whenever we have a call/issue/complaint. "CP, there's a VPO for you at the DT".
CP: Love it!
UT: Oh, and I have one of those anagrams for you too.
CP: Go on.
UT: You know all those vacation commercials for Sandals?
CP: Yes. Quite picturesque.
UT: If you rearrange the letters you get "ASSLAND".
CP: Nice. Changes my image of those honeymoon ads.
UT: Sounds like Eden for all those VPO's.
CP: Indeed.

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