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Wednesday, September 4, 2019


How long before these scenarios transition from hypothetical, to reality, to mandatory?

Pt: May I speak to the pharmacist?
Uber-Tech: For the cost of a flu shot.
Pt: But I don't need a flu shot.
UT: Then you don't need to speak to the pharmacist.


Pt: Just a quick question?
CP: Agree to a flu shot and you may ask me anything.
Pt: It's just a quick question.
CP: It's just a quick prick.
Uber-Tech: That's what she said.


Pt: How long until it's ready?
Uber-Tech: About 20 minutes should do it.
Pt: Can't it be any faster?
UT: I can do it in 15 minutes if you get your flu shot today.
Pt: But I don't want a flu shot.
UT: Then you don't want it in 20 minutes. You can come back tomorrow.


Pt: I'm here to pick up my prescriptions.
Uber-Tech: And to get your flu shot.
Pt: I don't want a flu shot.
UT: Then I guess you don't need your <checks scripts> insulin, albuterol, and losartan today.
Pt: Actually I do need them.
UT: And a flu shot.
Pt: No.
UT: FLU SHOT! Say it!
Pt: <stutters> f-f-f-flu sh-sh-shot?
UT: Thank you. Have a seat. CP will be out with you shortly.


Pt: I'm here to pick up my daughter's prescription.
Uber-Tech: And to get a flu shot.
Pt: No thanks. She's really sick and I need to get this home to her.
UT: Then I suggest you agree to a flu shot now.
Pt: No thanks.
UT: It's going to take  a while to mix this for her. I think it would be in the interests of everyone involved if you would agree to the shot now.
Pt: Are you trying to blackmail me into a flu shot?
UT: Blackmail is such a harsh word. Think of it as strong encouragement. You do want Little Susie to get better soon, don't you?
CP: You have a sick daughter. I have a quota. Let's help each other.

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