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Friday, October 20, 2017

Listen, Acknowledge, Understand, Deliberate, Agree, Naturally Utilise My Expertise

I can read it to you.
I can write it and spell it out phor you.
I can do an interpretive dance phor you.
I can use hand gestures (I mean, signals).
However, I cannot understand it phor you.

CP: Hey partner.
CPP: Howdy Pardner.
CP: Easy Cowboy.
CPP: Sorry.
CP: I understand. You're the only one back here with a country station on your Pandora.
CPP: It's only a couple songs. Honest.
CP: Phine. Here's your task phor the day. Look at this e-script I received over the weekend and call the prescriber.
CPP: Shore thang!
CP: <partner's gonna kill me for this dialogue> What are your thoughts?
CPP: Do they make this?
CP: Not that I am aware.
CPP: I see it. But I've never seen it. Were they just playing a pharmacy version of Cards Against Humanity? I'll take a drug name, a strength, and a dosage phorm and make a Franken-Drug on my e-script software. How does something like this even get through?
CP: As I've said before, they didn't ask us to design the software. But that's another post.
CPP: Did the patient come in phor this over the weekend?
CP: Certainly did.
CPP: What did you say?
CP: This product is not available as written. I realise this is phor your young child but I have no way to dispense you anything close to what is written here. I shall ring your office('s neck) on Monday and ask phor an alternative.
CPP: Sounds phair. Let me call.
CP: Well?
CPP: Had to leave a message. It went something like this. <Ahem> "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called life. I believe we can get by with a little help phrom our phriends at your office. The prescription you sent to us over the weekend for Sweet Child O'Mine is commercially unavailable. You shall either have to alter the strength, the dosage phorm, or the medication itself. Please call us and we may review the alternatives you choose to ensure we can get them if we do not have them in stock. Again, please call us with an alternative. Sincerely, The Revolution."
CP: Nice, professional, direct, to the point, yet simple and classy.
CPP: Thanks.
CP: I'm betting on voicemail as their return call.
CPP: Damn. You always guess voicemail.

<4 hours later>
CP: You need to listen to the voicemail.
CPP: Herr Dr. Zoffis?
CP: Jawohl.
CPP: <reciting the message> "The prescriber would like to cancel the prescription sent over the weekend. Since you cannot locate it, we will call the patient and instruct them to purchase it over the counter."
CP: Um. . .
CPP: Perhaps my message was TOO simple?
CP: No. It's not you. "If the instructions are not clear, if the orders are not obeyed, it is the fault of the general. But if the instructions ARE clear and the soldiers still do not obey, it is the fault of their officers."
CPP: You are wise beyond your years.
CP: Nope. Just recognizing that when the patient's mom returns, she will ask us to phind the product her prescriber told her was available OTC.
CPP: Ah yes. The Circle of Pharm Life.
CP: I wonder if anybody ever counts my references. This post is ridiculous.

Another reason #WhyYourPrescriptionTakesSoLong and #WhyYouShouldntAlwaysTrustYourPrescriber

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