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Monday, July 31, 2017

How Pharmacy Prepares You Phor Parenting

1. Cold food.
2. Someone who thinks they know more than you is arguing with you. 
3. Someone is always crying. 
4. Something is getting thrown at you.
5. Someone tells you she has to pee just a mile after passing the last rest area. (Someone is out of refills just after the office has closed.)
6. Just wait until your father gets home is the equivalent of calling the prescriber after running a PDMP report.
7. Can't spank your patients but you can put them in timeout [go to your (waiting) room].
8. Weekends in the pharmacy are the equal to the night before a school project, that someone hasn't started, is due.
9. What do you need refilled? is the same as "what do you want for dinner"? They don't know and will just shrug their shoulders and say "whatever you want".
10. Teaching a child to read is like walking a patient through the refills on their bottle:
CP: 2 refills,
Pt: 2 refills,
CP: Until,
Pt: Until . . .
CP: Until what?
Pt: Until 6/25.
CP: And today is . . . ?
Pt: 7/30.
CP: So it's expired.
Pt: So it's expired.
CP: Good!
11. You are fluent with 111 ways of saying "NO", but no one understands or listens to you anyway.
12. You endlessly repeat yourself. 

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