Normally, we pharmacists are the ones initiating this conversation.
The nurse wasn't as amused as I.
That amused me more.
CP: Welcome to Alternate Reality Friday, how may Maester CP help you?
Nurse In Charge Of Nothing: I'm calling from Dr. Zoffis and was wondering if you could help us out with a patient.
CP: Certainly. It's sort of my thing.
NICON: She's here for her visit and she says she misplaced her bottle. We are trying to figure out what she needs refilled.
CP: This sounds eerily phamiliar. Do go on.
NICON: It's for her Losartan. Which strength did she fill last time?
CP: Silly question for you. Did you not prescribe it last time?
NICON: We did. That's the problem. We can't read Dr. Zoffis's handwriting. It's either a "5" or a "50". He wrote something then scratched it out, then wrote on top of that.
CP: Now I know why it sounds so phamiliar. We are usually the ones calling you because we can't read handwriting.
NICON: <clearly not amused> Can you tell me which one she got?
CP: I can.
NICON: So. . .?
CP: . . . a needle pulling thread. . .
NICON: Which strength was it?
CP: It was the 50mg.
NICON: <whispers to patient behind her "was it 50mg?> She says that sounds right.
CP: Of course it "sounds right". I've got it here in her profile. It's sorta kinda like a patient record thingy, akin to this thing called a chart that many a Dr. Zoffis will keep in their office. It's typically used for situations like these.
CP: That's my line. I have to ask the obvious.
NICON: Why not?
CP: I usually call the office and someone either knows the answer, researches it for me, or directly asks the prescriber what was written. Is there a reason you didn't just swivel your chair around and ask Dr. Zoffis directly?
NICON: He was in another room and I'm updating the patient's medical records in her room for her appointment.
CP: He couldn't be bothered.
NICON: He's busy.
CP: Yet he's coming into this very room in a matter of minutes.
CP: I'll send you my bill. I should at least receive a consulting fee or MTM credit or something for your shenanigans.
NICON: I'll bring you doughnuts.
CP: Only if you pronounce them "Duff Nuts".
CP: Dough as in "rhymes with tough"; although I'd accept Dough as in "rhymes with cough" too.
NICON: I wish my prescriber was as phun to work with as you.
CP: Come to the Dark Side.
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