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Thursday, July 7, 2016

Sound Effects

One amusing thing about daily radio shows has always been the use of sound effects boards for comedic effect. It elicits an almost Vaudevillian nostalgia. I feel we need this in the pharmacy for the benefit of "Good Customer Service".
Example from last week:

Patient Expecting Some Type of Extra Response: I just called?
CP: Okay. And now you've called again.
PESTER: She hung up on me.
CP: Who did?
PESTER: That lady I was just talking to.
CP: I see. <checks around to ask what happened>
Okay. I seem to have found the problem. Let me put you on hold while I deal with it.
PESTER: She hung up on me!
CP: Got it. No hold then. <sets down phone. queues up sound effect board>
(Sounds of whips cracking, chains rattling, women screaming)
I shall repeat until you say Mercy!
PESTER: Do you mean me?
CP: Yes. I shall flog this vile wench until you say "Mercy". Since you are the person she doth wronged, you shall be responsible for the amount of punishment meted out.
PESTER: What? That's inhumane!
CP: Well what did you expect? You kept repeating "She hung on me" as if you wanted some sort of repercussions for her transgression. This is the solution upon which I alighted.
PESTER: Gods, No! Mercy.
CP: Are you sure? Usually people tell me to just let the hate flow through me.
PESTER: Perhaps a walk of atonement may better serve this situation?
CP: No. It's a small space back here. No room to walk. Anyway, what was the reason for your initial call?
PESTER: I needed a refill and couldn't figure out how to type in the numbers on the phone fast enough.
CP: That's it? A refill?
CP: Would you like to try our new delivery service?
PESTER: Sounds great! What do I have to do?
CP: Nothing. Just wait at home for us to drop by. I'll be sending my tech with our whips and chains.

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