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Wednesday, May 13, 2015

How Many?

CP: Greetings and salutations. How may I help you?
Not Sure Of Anything: I am calling to inquire as to how many prescriptions I have ready.
CP: There are two. Two prescriptions ready. ah ah ah...
NSOA: Okay, Count Pharmacist. Thank you.
CP: Anything else?
NSOA: Is there another one?
CP: Like a third one?
NSOA: Yes.
CP: No.
NSOA: Why not?
CP: Because I only have two.
NSOA: Are you sure?
CP: Pretty sure.
NSOA: Really sure. Like really, really sure?
CP: Like totally sure. If I had three, I would have said three. What good does it serve for me to lie to you? Wait, one, two, five!
NSOA: Really?
CP: No. Seriously, what do you expect, oh aptly named person?
NSOA: Not sure.
CP: Exactly. Sometimes, just for phun, we like to lie to people. We didn't become one of the most trusted professions any other way...It's common practice for us to lie to you. We tell you we only have two prescriptions ready for you, lower your expectations, then when you come in and least expect it, Surprise! we have three!
NSOA: That sounds marvelously exciting.
CP: I know, right? We're now training our technicians to have a little flair at the pickup window; put on a little show for those stuck waiting in the long lines (budget cuts, y'know?). They grab the first bag from the will call section, then with a little bit of legerdemain, pull out the third one and shout BOOM!
NSOA: Oh my. I just got chills.
CP: Make sure you call the 1-800 number and tell them how awesome we are.

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