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Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Own Your Stupid

Strange days have found us. Strange days have tracked us down. They're going to destroy our casual joy…
I sometimes wonder what my topic or story will be for tomorrow's post. Sometimes I write days and weeks ahead. Other times, I make it up right before I set the post. Yesterday provided today's "Why do I care?" moment, while I was floating to another store.

CP: How may I hel…
Self-Obsessed Blonde: I don't like this pharmacy.
CP: Um...Thanks for telling me?
SOB: You don't have a drive-thru.
CP: I know. I love that. That's why…
SOB: I had to walk all the way to the back.
CP: We're actually on the side, but no bother. So why are you here, exactly? Other than to prattle on about our inconveniences?
SOB: My friend asked me to bring this here because she likes this pharmacy. I can't see why.
CP: And I can't see how you two are friends.
SOB: What?
CP: Nothing.
SOB: I would never come here again.
CP: And that would make each and every one of my days brighter were I never to see you again. And you didn't have to walk all the way to us. You could have commandeered a motorized scooter. You could have skipped or jumped or traipsed or moonwalked, or danced, or sashayed to the pharmacy. Personally, I find myself reenacting the Ministry of Silly Walks routine as I make my way to the pharmacy. Sometimes it makes me late though. Sorry. You were complaining?
SOB: It's rather a pain to get back here and I have to wait.
CP: Do tell. Where is this Eden of pharmacies located? How can you have found the one pharmacy where there is no waiting, there are no lines, there is a drive-thru, and all your needs are met instantly? Never mind. I know the answer.
SOB: Well…
CP: Shh. Good Girl. You are THAT patient. The one everyone talks about before she arrives and after she leaves. They know you are coming so they hurriedly shuffle your prescriptions through to completion so as to ensure they don't have to deal with you any longer than possible. I bet they even draw straws or shout "not it!" or put their fingers to their noses to choose the loser who has to wait on you. Fortunately for me, you are not my patient and your friend is. Thanks for that.

Seriously though…Who has the moxie to enter a business and begin complaining? You already don't shop here. I don't need to know why you don't shop here. I would be happier never having had to hear this story about why you are here now. Go sit in the corner until I finish her prescription and think of other reasons to not like us. Write them down for me so I can forward them to corporate.


  1. Hi, Nice site I enjoyed reading it. Thanks for sharing. Would it be possible if I contact you through your email? Please email me back. Thanks!

    Aaron Grey
    aarongrey112 at gmail.com

  2. I really like the other pharmacist blogs better.... they're so much easier to read.


    Yeah, I also hate the self obsessed complainers. The ones who hate us but still get their prescriptions every month for last 10 years...