CP: Welcome to CP's Palace of Potions. How may I help you?
Naturally Opining Makes Answers Subjective: I am here to pick up my prescription.
CP: I have one prescription here for you.
NO MAS: That is correct.
CP: Treating a bird today, I see?
NO MAS: Huh?
CP: Thrush.
NO MAS: Huh?
CP: Okay. That one missed. How about <sings horribly> "It's just, a little thrush?"
NO MAS: Yes. That's it.
CP: Any questions today before I go over this with you?
NO MAS: Should I change my toothbrush?
CP: Great question. The answer is yes, and frequently until the infection clears, then you can continue with that one.
NO MAS: But I don't want to replace it.
CP: Ok. If it means that much to you, you can sterilize it. Either in mouthwash, or a baking soda or Hydrogen Peroxide solution. I'd do that until the infection clears, then replace it.
NO MAS: I use expensive toothbrushes.
CP: And how often do you change them?
NO MAS: Each season. So 3 times a year.
CP: Which season do you skip? Do you change it every season, like winter, spring summer, or fall. . .
UT: All you have to do is call. Sorry.
CP: Or do you change it every 4 months?
NO MAS: I change it every 3 months.
CP: When are you due to change it again? I change mine quarterly on the first of every third month so if you're like me. . .
UT: I hope not. . . sorry.
CP: . . . then you'd be due to change it now that it's almost April 1st.
NO MAS: I'm supposed to change it this week.
CP: Okay. You SHOULD change it. You CAN disinfect it. You are ABOUT to change it anyway. I'm not sure how much more I can help you. You either ARE going to change it; or you're not. You either need to, or you don't.
NO MAS: <head starts twitching>
CP: Here's your troches. Slowly dissolve. Have a good day. <slowly backs from counter>
UT: Are you just going to leave her like that?
CP: Her head is twitching. She looks like a short-circuited fem-bot from Austin Powers.
UT: Good thing you didn't ask her for her preferred pronunciation.
CP: Tro-key.
UT: I still think we should pronounce douche like that as well: Doo-Key.
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