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Friday, June 10, 2022

And Scene. . .

<Our story opens on a nondescript pharmacy in a nondescript town on a nondescript corner shortly after dawn (okay, like 8:47, close enough) on a Saturday. We are standing behind the main character, a pharmacist, peering over her shoulder as she unlocks the door and disarms the alarm>
CP: <inner monologue> Today is going to be a great day. I can pheel it!
Narrator: It was NOT going to be a great day. 
CP: I'm going to start my computers and get everything ready to start my morning. I got up early and arrived to work earlier than normal; I got donuts even. 
<looks out of gate and sees a gentleman sitting on the waiting bench>
CP: <inner monologue> Going to be a good day. 
<Rolls up gates>
CP: Greetings and Salutations! Are you picking up today?
Gonna Ruin Everyone's Morning Like It's Nothing: No. 
CP: Well, you're at pick up so. . . Are you dropping off?
CP: Ok. Question?
CP: Ok. Well I'm about out of guesses as to why you are at my counter then. 
GREMLIN: I need my second booster. 
CP: Ok. We do those by appointment only, during the week. 
GREMLIN: I'm leaving town Thursday.
CP: Nice. Have a dandy time
GREMLIN:I need my booster. 
CP: Not really though. But you can return Monday and schedule a shot for then. 
GREMLIN: Well I need this Rx filled too then. 
CP: Ok. Viagra. It'll be about 20 minutes. 
GREMLIN: WHAT?! Twenty Minutes? Twenty Minutes!
CP: Yes. Repeat it back to me so you understand. Well done. 20 minutes is correct. 
CP: Well, as you clearly witnessed, I arrived; I started my computers; I just opened the gate. You walked up to my counter ahead of the two people who are now behind you. As soon as the gate lifted, my phone started ringing. I am also flying solo today so, yeah, 20 minutes is a phairly solid estimate. 
GREMLIN: "I can't wait another 20 minutes. We've already waited 20 minutes!"
CP: Sorry. What? 
GREMLIN: We've already been here 20 minutes. 
CP: Aww, you're so cute. You do realise that you can't count wait times outside of our hours of operation. 
CP: Waiting times before we open DON'T. COUNT! I walked out last night at 7pm. I passed a gentleman walking into the store with an Rx in his hand. If he were standing here, right now, and I told him "20 minutes", he would not be able to ask, with sincere incredulity, "Why so long? I've been waiting over 10 hours already!". So knock it off, sit back down, and wait your 20 minutes. 
GREMLIN: I can't wait. Give me back my script. 

<10 minutes later>
GREMLIN: I'll just leave this here and come back when I get my shot Monday. 
CP: Okay. It'll be here Tuesday. 
GREMLIN: What? Why? 
CP: I have to order it. And now that I know you aren't leaving until Thursday, you can have a little patience too. You need to learn how to be patient. 
GREMLIN:This is ridiculous!
CP: I've been waiting phor 2 years phor The Sandman to come out, ever since it was announced. Netflix just said I have to wait until, August; 9 more weeks. I don't think that's phair. See you Wednesday. Next!

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