Never Prepared

CP: I'm either over-prepared or under-stupid. 

CPP: I think you're just stupid enough. 

CP: Haha. Tessalon Taker.* Seriously, though. Many of the people we see on the daily make me question

my every social interaction. 

CPP: First example?

Medicare Insurance Lady Doesn't Envisage Why: I need to fill these prescriptions. 

CP: What a joy! Please allow me to phacilitate the philling of these phine medications. 

MILDEW: I shall wait for them. 

CP: While you're waiting, could I trouble you phor your insurance card?

MILDEW: It's in the system. 

CP: Indeed it is. However, it is telling me I need your Medicare Part B card. Might you possess it presently?

MILDEW: "I don't know. Nobody's ever asked me for it before."

CP: I think whether or not someone has asked you phor it before is immaterial to our present situation. I asked if you had it. It's either "yes" or "no". Nobody's asked me phor my car insurance or my Junior Zookeeper of the Month Card, but I know I have both of them in my wallet at all times, just in case. Here. <shows Zookeeper card>

MILDEW: You are a strange human. 

CP: Thanks. I also have a picture of the star I adopted. 

CPP: Did she have her card?

CP: She did. Still not sure why she responded as she did. It's as if I asked her opinion on whether she enjoyed the company of snails or axolotls. At least there she could have responded with "I don't know. I've never been asked or thought about it before". 

CPP: What's your next issue?

Automatic Information Download Isn't A Thing?: I'm here for my prescriptions. 

CP: Here you go. I just need to verify your information. What we have on phile does not match what the prescriber sent over on your e-script. 

AIDIAT: That's not correct. You don't have my right address. 

CP: Again, that's why we are checking. 

AIDIAT: I haven't lived there in years. 

CP: And whose phault is that? If no one tells us, we don't know to update every time you move. 

AIDIAT: That's like 3 places ago. 

CP: Again, we don't have a tracker on you. I'm just trying to update your information so it's correct. If you could just stay with me phor a few more seconds I can verify everything is current. 

AIDIAT: And my phone number is wrong. 

CP: Okay. I need you to step away phor a minute or two, collect your thoughts, and reapproach when you are capable of answering the questions I ask of you. 

CPP: Did you phix his profile? 

CP: Of course. And guess what?

CPP: What? 

CP: The information sent over on the e-script was also incorrect. 

CPP: Think we should tell him?

CP: Nah. Let's let the office get the same enjoyment we did phrom their oversight of not knowing he moved and changed numbers. 

CPP: There should be a way phor people to communicate that to the businesses they patronize. 

CP: Yeah, like, telling them or something. 

CPP: Or something apparently. 

*What's the diagnosis for taking Tessalon?

Phuh Cough.