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Monday, October 25, 2021

I Don't Need It. . .Yet

CP: How long ago did we learn to stop asking "how stupid can people be"? 
CPP: Working retail for any amount of time will erode your phaith in the human race. 
CP: Especially the last nearly two years. 
CPP: Indeed. What stories/anecdotes do you have today to represent?
CP: Story number one is phresh out of the gas station by my house. I often do my propane exchanges at this particular location. I love that it is conveniently located near the picnic table adjacent to the front doors. I like to watch people taking their lunch breaks there. 
CPP: I feel there is more. 
CP: On the Propane Cage is a large, bold printed sign that reads: "Danger! No Smoking near Propane". 
CPP: Which they placed next to the break table? 
CP: Upon which all the employees and local ruffians likes to take their cigarette breaks. They could turn around and open the cage while seated, with cigarette dangling like Samuel L. Jackson in Jurassic Park. 
CPP: Yet they've never become airborne particles of their former selves. 
CP: Correct. And I know you will say "so?" and I will reply with "yet". . . Which leads me to the second story. 

CPP: Which is?
CP: How do I sell people on vaccines who are hesitant? 
CPP: Go on. 
CP: I had an insurance agent ask me about vaccinating himself and his family. This was for flu, just about the time the pandemic was in full swing last year and we had yet to receive covid vaccines. 
CPP: I'm with you. 

CP: You sell insurance to people? 
Good Insurance Salesman Talker: I do. 
CP: You are good at what you do? 
GIST: I am. 
CP: Why are you asking my opinion? 
GIST: You are a pharmacist. I have never been sick so I've never had a flu shot and when covid shots come around, I don't think I'll need that either.
CP: I will change your mind. 
GIST: We shall see.
CP: I take it you are well-insured for everything?
GIST: I am. 
CP: Auto, home, life, flood, everything? 
GIST: Yes. 
CP: When was the last time you filed a claim against any of those? House? Car? Flooding? 
GIST: Not in the 25 years we have lived here. 
CP: Nice. Lucky man. I need you to go home and cancel all of your policies today. 
GIST: Why? 
CP: It's a waste of money! You haven't filed a claim in 25 years! That's awesome. It must mean you will never ever need to file one so you can stop throwing away all your money. Get out there and spend it all! Live a little. 
GIST: That's not what I advise my clients. 
CP: Of course not. You advise them to purchase insurance IN CASE they need it. Much like your flu shot, which is free, of course, or any other vaccine, just because you have NEVER BEEN SICK, does not mean you won't be in the phuture. Just because some numbnuts at the gas station hasn't blown himself up yet by smoking in front of the propane tanks does not mean someone won't in the phuture. Just like any investment advice states "past results are not a predictor of phuture returns", the same can be said for stupid people smoking in front of propane tanks or while pumping gas as well as people refusing to receive their vaccinations on the gossamer argument that they haven't been sick. . . yet."

CPP: And how'd that go?
CP: He got my gist. He came back the next day for his shots.

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