Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

CP: Will you call my ex for me? 

CPP: Why? 

CP: I think I left something there. 

CPP: What? 

CP: No clue. I keep getting phone calls and texts but I don't answer them. I don't listen to the messages and I certainly don't read the texts. 

CPP: Bad breakup? 

CP: Not really. 

CPP: Then why can't you call?

CP: I don't wanna. You do it. 

CPP: Am I the friend you got in the breakup? 

CP: Yes. 

CPP: Okay. I gotta ask. Where are we going with this? 

CP: We're going to break up if you continue with the attitude is where we're going. 

CPP: Seriously. 

CP: Phine. I had a patient last month. Asked us to transfer her whole profile from one of the Giant Deuce. I did. 

CPP: Okay. And now?

CP: Well, I transferred the whole profile. I'm not only the new partner apparently, but also the remaining friend from the breakup. 

CPP: Always a bridesmaid. . . 

CP: And she came in and asked if I would call her ex-pharmacy because she is still getting phone calls and texts from them. Not only am I supposed to find out WHY she is getting these messages (couldn't be bothered to listen to the voicemail or read the texts), I'm supposed to make them stop. 

CPP: So you get the rest of her profile, anything that may be new, and problem solved, right?

CP: Except they had no new medications. Nothing they hadn't transferred. Their system still attempts to send refill requests and auto-fill things. 

CPP: Even after some patients have died. 

CP: I told her breaking up is hard to do and did my part as her new BFF to cut the cord but I think the Giant Deuce won't let her go that easy. 

CPP: It would be easier to find a new doctor, change phone numbers, and make a new identity than to evade the clutches of the Giant Deuce without a restraining order. 

CP: Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in. 

CPP: And apparently she's thinking I owe her a favour. 

CP: Someday, and that day may never come, I will call upon you to do a service for me. 

CPP: That's it. I'm breaking up with you.

CP: Can you transfer my meds first?