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Sunday, July 12, 2020


Uber-Tech: Angry Tart on hold.
CP: Thanks for getting her all into a lather for me.
UT: No problem.
CP: What's her issue?
UT: She received a 90 days supply 57 days ago and wants a refill before she departs for a vacation. Somehow, she not only needs it early, but she only has enough for another week.
CP: Curious.
UT: Good luck.
CP: <cracks neck, knuckles, does deep-knee bends> Thank you for holding. This is CP, problem solver extraordinaire. How may I help you?
Old Yet Very Enraged Yeller: That girl told me I can't get my refill. <continues to repeat vacation plans, out of medication, doesn't take more than she should, etc, etc, etc>
CP: I heard that. Your insurance won't pay for. . . 
OYVEY: It's not like I can abuse them! I only take 1 a day. 
CP: And they won't pay. It's not a matter of abuse, it's. . . 
OYVEY: Where did they go? It says I can refill them before next week. I just want them before I leave. 
CP: Ok. Where are you going? 
OYVEY: That's none of your business. 
CP: Well, in most parts of the world, including "none of your business", there are pharmacies for the residents of those towns. You could transfer your. . . 
OYVEY: Not where we're going. 
CP: Roads? Where we're going we don't need roads. 
OYVEY:  Huh? It says one refill and I want it. 
CP: Listen, Veruca. My tech tried to help you. You yelled at her and asked for me. I have tried to help you and you have yelled at me. Let me explain it like this: You can argue with me and talk over me OR, you can ask for my help; but you absolutely cannot do both. If you had asked for my help, which I still attempted to provide in spite of your actions, I may have offered to process enough doses to last until you returned and processed a vacation override or at least used a discount card. Since you have been belligerent and demanding, I am less inclined to help you. You have chosen the dark path. May you find the light in The Land of None Of Your Business. 
OYVEY: scoffs <click>
UT: That went well. 
CP:I wonder where else people choose to ask for help then berate you for no good reason. 
UT: I'm sure that was an episode of Baywatch. Can't you just see Pamela Anderson rescuing some schmuck drowning, giving him mouth-to-mouth and him complaining about it? 
CP: You need to update your TV habits. 
UT: I never watched it. I was more of a 90210 girl. 
CP: Ditto. 

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