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Wednesday, June 12, 2019

Lame Pharmacy Jokes

Pt: Are Oxybutynin and Vesicare for Overactive Bladder?
CP: Oui, Oui.


Shopping at WalMart shouldn't be painful. If you rearrange the letters, you get AWL TRAM (Ultram).


Has anyone else noticed that Lupin's birth control packs are not easy to open? Unlike other brands' packs, the foil doesn't tear.
Does this mean Lupin's packs are ... impregnable?
#IfYouThinkThisWasBadYouShouldTryWorkingWithMe


New Viagra Ad
"Working hard? Or hardly working?


CP: Did you want to wait?
Pt: How long?
CP: However long you want to wait.


CP: Will you be waiting or coming back?
Pt: Tomorrow.
CP: Well, since you can't sleep here, I'll mark you down as "coming back". You don't have to go home but you can't stay here.


What did my doctor say when I described my bladder symptoms?
"Urine Trouble"

I always knew my little brother was going to become a urologist. Every time I beat the crap out of him he'd run to mom, then come back pointing his finger at me tauntingly saying "Urine Trouble". Pissed me off.


Saw an advertisement for a Clam Bake on my long drive to work the other day.
Nothing unusual; 'tis the season,
except this one was promoted as a "Clam Jam".
I thought to myself, that sounds like a condition a gynecologist would diagnose.
She would then proceed to send an e-script for a CREAM to treat this case of "Clam Jam".
Unfortunately, like all prescribers with e-scripts, it would be full of typos so it would probably read:
"Clam Jam Cram" with directions of "Apply 1 finger cram to clam jam ma'am."

I do not like to treat clam jam.
I do like it here or there.
I do not like clam jam anywhere.

Q: What do you recommend for hirsutism?
A: Bactrim

Mahna, Mahna = Sphygomanometer

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