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Saturday, September 15, 2018

Ticker Time

Me: Psst. CP. It's me.
CP: I know it's you. What's up? Besides me, now.
Me: I was having a think and couldn't sleep.
CP: Let's hear it.
Me: Pharmacists keep complaining about having to report their flu shot numbers either hourly, daily, weekly, or by the shot, right?
CP: Yes. It's as if the powers-that-be don't want us to do anything else.
Me: Right? Well, you know that report we always run to help adjust our inventory?
CP: The NDC report? Yeah. We run it to see how much of an item we used over a period of time in order to adjust our stock up or down. It's helpful just before Tamiflu season starts so we can ensure we order enough. Same with all the other "seasons". I think I see where you're going with this.
Me: If we can run that report for the dispensing of any NDC for any date range, why can't corporate do the same?
Myself: Oooh. Here's a thought. If they find it really necessary to know how many shots are being given on any day, why don't they figure out how to get an NYSE stock ticker installed in their offices? Think about it. It would be a big digital board in every corporate/regional/district office (also available as an app on phones of DMs) that showed how each shot was trending in each store/district/region, etc. It'd be like watching CNBC but for shots.
CP: I like it. I can see it now: Bob! We have a crisis! Shares of Fluarix are down across the Eastern Seaboard. What's going on? A hurricane? Now? During the middle of our mega shot push? Someone get over there and start vaccinating the evacuation routes. They're going to be sitting still for quite some time anyway.
Me: Why isn't HD moving at all right now? We need to start nailing the old people. I know past history of a stock doesn't guarantee future results but I'm not waiting until October to see these move. Someone get Arizona and Florida online right now.
Myself: Can't you just see the corporate overlords sitting in front of their stock tickers in their offices, pants off, salivating and cursing as the numbers refresh every 30 seconds?
Me: I like the way you both think.
Myself: Of course you like the way we think. We're the same brain.
CP: Seriously, if we can run the report, why can't they? And if I could spend less time on conference calls discussing shots, and reading emails about pushing flu shots, and not worrying about tracking and reporting flu shots, I could give more flu shots.
Me: Why don't you just run the report?
CP: That's the beauty. That's all I ever do. They never question why I fax them the NDC report.
Myself: Psst. You should get in on HD right now. I hear it's going to explode in October. Shhh.

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