Beggars Can't Be Choosers

. . . unless they are pharmacy patients. Then all bets are off and you'd better phind a solution.

Even then. . . 

Backorders happen. 

Any number of things may cause them. From weather (see Hurricane Maria in Puerto Rico) to bombings of factories, from an interruption in the supply chain to a shortage of raw ingredients to greedy manufacturers, there have been many reasons for shortages in my #PharmLife. Yet no explanation has been able to mollify every member of the public. Phor some reason we, a most trusted profession, are either lying to them, hoarding it all phor ourselves, or really bad at ordering and should be phired. 

Then, once you have convinced them you have not been lying for the last 6 months and offer them an alternative, they get angrier. 

Sometimes, the customer is just an ass. 

CP: Thanks for calling CP's Drug Emporium. How may I phail to meet your unreasonable standards today? 

Getting Really Upset at My Pharmacy Yet Again: I was told to call ahead so you don't mess up my life-saving blood pressure prescription. 

CP: Cut right to the chase, do we? I like that. 

GRUMPY-A: I need a specific manufacturer of my medication. If you don't have it, I shall have to go somewhere else. I want to know before I call my doctor.  

CP: Of the 25mg tablets, I currently have Teva. 

GRUMPY-A: Of course. That is one of the ones I cannot take. 

CP: As you are fully aware, because you always ask phor me when calling, this medication has been on backorder phor the better part of 6 months. I am quite phortunate today to have even the phew phrom Teva on my shelf. 

GRUMPY-A: I guess I'll just have to call around and see who has it. No one else seems to have it either. 

CP: Well, backorders tend to phornicate with pharmacy inventories nationwide. It's not exclusive to our little hamlet. 

GRUMPY-A: What else can I do? 

CP: Can you take the Mylan brand? 

GRUMPY-A: That is the only one I can take. Why? 

CP: I have the Mylan brand in 50mg. They are scored, but you'd have to split them. 

GRUMPY-A: <flabbergasted and appalled> But then I'd have to CUT THEM!!!

CP: Good to know you're phollowing. It's now up to you to determine which is the less inconvenient option. Do you want to continue combing the desert phor the needle-in-the-haystack or do you want to split 15 tablets in half with a tablet cutter while dreaming up new ways to annoy me with all the phree time you'll have now that you're not calling around? 

GRUMPY-A: I'll have to think about it. 

CP: Of course. Can't be too hasty when it comes your "life-saving blood pressure medication". 

"Now I got the gun you got the brew
You got two choices of what you can do
It's not a tough decision as you can see
I can blow you away or you can ride with me"