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Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Deal(er) With It

I wonder if people treat their Street Dealers with the same courtesies as they do their professional, legal dealers.

1. Did you make this batch of Meth in an old Mt. Dew bottle? I can't take the batches made in Coke or RC bottles.
2. What brand of baby powder did you use to cut my coke? It better not be that store-brand stuff. I want the real Johnson's.
3. My marijuana buds had little hairs on them last time. Can I get the ones without the little hairs? They creep me out. I think I'm smoking little furry spiders.
4. My crack rocks are different sizes this time. Are you sure you gave me crack and not crystal meth?
5. Can I get the Ecstasy with the pictures of leprechauns on them? The ones with Hello Kitty made me too thirsty.
6. Is this one of those bad batches of heroin that's going around? I had that the last time and it damn near killed. It must be generic. I think I'm allergic to it.
7. Where were these drugs made? I don't want any from Colombia. I heard they use drug mules and my last batch tasted like shit. I only want drugs that are made in America!
SD: Technically, they are Made in America. Colombia is in America, albeit SOUTH America. If you want to show 'Murican Pride, perhaps you should insist on "Made in the USA".

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