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Thursday, May 8, 2014

Wonky Labels

Nothing good comes after: "I wish to register a complaint. I need to speak to the manager".

Label Lady: Do you have new people working down there?
CP: Not really.
LL: Is that dashing manager there today?
CP: Nope. You're stuck with me. How may I help?
LL: My labels were all wrong.
CP: Sorry?
LL: They were on all weird. I save them and take them off and put them on other bottles and couldn't get these off and they ripped and they came out of the bag all weird and stuck together and I need to put them on another shelf up high where any kids who come in my house can't reach them and now they won't fit and I can't keep the labels to call in the refills and my system is all screwed up and...
CP: Breathe! Are the labels on the correct bottles?
LL: Yes.
CP: But you peel them off and put them on smaller bottles?
LL: Yes.
CP: So we labeled the giant stock bottles?
LL: Yes. But that other wonderful pharmacist has always taken of me. He always labels them perfectly and I have never had a problem in all my years coming there when he is working and carefully labels all my bottles. They come right off. I don't know what I'm going to do now. My whole system won't work.
CP: Ma'am, I can pretty much guarantee that he never personally labeled 93.2% of your bottles over the last many years you have been coming here.
LL: I've been coming there since we owned our house right across the street. Do you have interns there?
CP: Yes. We love having students.
LL: That must be it.
CP: Of course. Well they do have to learn somewhere. We can't teach them everything about the profession in little rotations. Surprisingly, this is the first time in my career that any patient has ever complained about how their labels were placed on their bottle.
LL: (laughing) Really?
CP: Yes. And that wasn't a compliment. Seriously. I am guessing what happened is that we normally tape the stock bottle before placing our labels. This way they will peel right off if we return them to stock. Since you always get these, or since we have students, this step may have been missed.
LL: I keep a folder of them and they ripped. What do I do now?
CP: Ask for smaller bottles?
LL: But I'll need like 10 of them for each medication. Can't you just put a note in my file about how I like them labeled?
CP: Sure. With over 500 prescriptions filled each day and over a dozen employees on the payroll, I'm sure we will always see the note about how you like each bottle labeled. As long as you get the right drug in the right bottle with the right label and there are no other issues, I am happy. How about you just call us ahead of time and we will see if we can accommodate your request with each refill?
LL: Well that awesome manager always takes of me.
CP: Yes. We like him too. From now on, call to ask if he is working when you need your refill. This way, we can guarantee that he will personally enter, fill, count, label, check, and bag each of your prescriptions.
LL: You can do that?
CP: No. But he'll get a kick out of that phone call.

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