In the immortal words of Ron White, "You can't fix stupid". If you could, someone would be making a ton of money. (Un)fortunately, stupidity is NOT a clinical diagnosis, nor a valid legal excuse. Someone once asked me, rhetorically, "how stupid can people be?" I replied "don't ask, because it's a competition and everyone is trying to outdo each other".
For example, the dosing for a medication established by the manufacturer and FDA is merely a guideline or suggestion, not an actual set-in-stone dose. Someone called for a refill on their codeine cough syrup and when we informed them it was way too early they said "I didn't have a spoon so we just took swigs out of the bottle. Now we're out and we need more". Wow. No spoons, huh? I guess you're limited to only forkable foods in your house then?
This idea led me to a list of more WTF??? moments.
1. A woman on Medicare D was getting her script filled and wanted to use a transfer coupon to get a gift card. When we informed her that government-funded scripts were excluded she whined that "they're always after the old people"! Really? Now how the hell did you arrive at that? Your $1.10 copay apparently isn't enough for you? The government is not allowing you to get an EXTRA benefit on top of their assistance. It's not as if they're personally taking the gift card away from you. The only thing worse than this heinous crime is not allowing people on Medicaid to get gift cards I guess.
2. Sense of urgency--This is open to interpretation.
A doctor calls us and says the patient is on his way and 15 minutes later we're expected to have it done because you called? It's 5 pm! WTF did you do all day that you NEED your antibiotics NOW?
3. "Your bottle is out of refills, sir." "but I have a new prescription at home." Wow, a lot of good that does me here now, huh? I bet it's lonely.
4. My favorite conversation always starts with "but my bottle still says 2 refills!!!" Yes sir it does. If you bury it in a time capsule or a landfill and your grandkids unearth it in 50 years, it will still say 2 refills. Our labels do not have the magical power to erase refills as you fill them. This is why you are expected to throw away the old bottles and why prescriptions expire after one year.
5. Outdated medications--Now I can understand hanging on to something for purely sentimental reasons, like your first hemorrhoidal cream script. However, if it is life-saving, I may want to have the most current, freshest stuff I got. A woman brought in a bottle of Nitroglycerin for a refill in April, 2011. The bottle inside had an expiration date of December, 2007! I offered her a new bottle for free and she said "No. I don't want to waste them". As I tried to explain about its potency, she hurriedly walked off saying "no thanks" and giving me the big brush off sign.
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