If There Was A Problem

yo, I'll solve it. . . 

CP: Or be blamed for it. 

CPP: Why so cynical, CP?

CP: <gives pseudo-menacing glare> Phunny. 

CPP: <shrugs> 

CP: Did you ever notice how we are disproportionately blamed for the phailings of the healthcare system? 

CPP: I work retail. And I work it with you. Of course I noticed. I think it has to do with accessibility. 

CP: The more accessible your healthcare provider is, the more you can yell at, berate, upbraid, castigate or keelhaul her. 

CPP: But those providers who are isolated within a myriad warren of halls and walls? 

CP: No issues with the public. 

CPP: I pheel a story coming. 

CP: Have a seat. Criss-cross applesauce. 

Another Lunkhead Expecting Some Transmission Of Routine Medication: I just spoke with your tech and she told me you didn't have my medication. 

CP: She lied. 

ALESTORM: I knew it!

CP: I have your medication, but I do not have the requisite prescription to dispense it to you. 

ALESTORM: That makes no sense. 

CP: Sure it does. I stock medications. The one you take is in stock. Thereby confirming that I DO have your medication. 

ALESTORM: But my doctor always sends me 3 months at a time. 

CP: Two months. 

ALESTORM: No. Three months. 

CP: It's not a haggle. We're not bartering for the best price here. Since last November, your doctor has sent your prescriptions two months at a time. 

ALESTORM: Well something is off here. 

CP: Your attention and comprehension. 

ALESTORM: What? 

CP: <titters>

ALESTORM: "If I find the problem is with you, I WILL find a new pharmacy!" 

CP: Ooh. So adamant and threatening. I have a follow up question to that. 

ALESTORM: WHAT?

CP: You threatened me that if the problem were mine, you would take your business elsewhere. Does the corollary also hold true?

ALESTORM: Cor what now? 

CP: Cor Blimey. This is rough. The corollary. If you discover the doctor is at phault phor your missing prescription, meaning HE NEVER SENT IT TO ME, are you going to then threaten him as well? Are you going to threaten him with phinding a new doctor? I'm taking my talents to another Dr. Zoffis! Better yet, will you apologise to me when I am proven right and you come skulking into my pharmacy to retrieve your medication. 

ALESTORM: <click>

CP: Thought so. 

CPP: Let me guess. . . the doctor never sent it. 

CP: No. Two months at a time. That's how often he checks the PDMP. 

CPP: Did he apologise?

CP and CPP: <laugh>

 

Keelhaul that filthy landlubber
Send him down to the depths below
Make that bastard walk the plank
With a bottle of rum and a yo ho ho